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Daters want to leave body count stigma in 2023, eharmony says
Dating app eharmony launched its latest Dating Diaries report with interesting trends for 2024.
2024 isn’t here quite yet, but daters are already working on their “sexolutions,” according to eharmony. The longtime dating app released its latest Dating Diaries, a report on how 1,600 adults 21 and over surveyed in late September and early October this year feel about sex and love. All participants are either dating, in a relationship, cohabitating, or married, and results were weighed to be nationally representative by age, gender, and region.
Among participants’ sexy new year’s resolutions were eliminating “body count” stigma. Most, 67 percent, of singles don’t plan on asking their next partner how many people they slept with, and only 24 percent think the number actually matters.
In the new year, 19 percent of singles overall (and 26 percent of Gen Z singles) want to experiment with more sex positions. They’ll need to be able to open up to do so, but that’s a challenge for Gen Z, who were least likely of the generations to communicate sexual wants verbally after sex with a partner (40 percent). Thirty-six percent of Gen Z, however, are prioritizing sexual communication going into the new year. (If you want to prioritize this, too, head to Mashable’s guide on setting sexual boundaries.)
“The strength of our connection with partners isn’t dependent on how much experience we bring to the table, or even the frequency of sex. When it comes to building intimacy, it’s the quality of our communication that has the greatest impact on whether or not we will leave an interaction feeling fulfilled,” said eharmony relationship and sex expert Casey Tanner in the press release.
“Because many of us have learned that it’s not okay to speak openly about sex, we may find ourselves on a steep learning curve when it comes to discussing our sexual desires — and that’s okay,” Tanner continued. Instead of shaming yourself (even further), Tanner advises to commit to trying something new and staying curious about how it feels.
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“Try discussing your feelings about sex while taking a walk, rather than right after sex or while sitting face to face,” Tanner suggested. “Create a sexual bucket list and move through one idea at a time. Stay away from performance-oriented goals, and find pleasure in the process of getting to know yourself in this new light.”
Meanwhile, there’s still very much an orgasm gap: 32 percent of participants in relationships always orgasm with a partner, but 61 percent say an orgasm is very important. A quarter (25 percent) have even ended a relationship if they weren’t able to orgasm with a partner; millennials were most likely to do so (31 percent). Millennials also slept with more people than any other generation in 2023, according to eharmony, and 38 percent want more sex in 2024.
eharmony also identified several dating trends — like how almost half (48 percent) of Gen Z singles have dating regrets this year, and their top regret is wishing they prioritized themselves over dating (37 percent). Their top dating goal for 2024 is to find a long term relationship (49 percent), followed by dating intentionally (47 percent).
“To get out of a dating regret rut, daters are intentionally setting up 2024 differently,” said eharmony relationship expert Laurel House. “In order to reset and restart in a healthy way, daters should take a broader look at all of their dating encounters, and realize that in order to change your love life, your associations, actions, and attitudes must align with your renewed mindset.”
Millennials are prioritizing strong relationships; nearly half, 49 percent, want a healthier relationship in 2024. Twenty-seven percent of millennial singles wish they had been more proactive with a crush in 2023.
Thirty percent of all couples want to explore their sexuality more, while 20 percent overall (and 28 percent of Gen Z couples specifically) want to engaged or married.
Finally, eharmony identified the 2024 “dating leagues” — aka the top qualities singles are looking for in their partners. Gen Z singles, of which 30 percent prefer to date people “out of their league” (whatever that means), three traits they’re most looking for in a partner is emotional intelligence (28 percent), humor (23), and intelligence (16).
Millennials are a little different; 73 percent of millennial singles have dated someone “out of their league” at some point. Now, the top three traits they’re looking for in a partner in 2024 is also emotional intelligence (26 percent), followed by intelligence (19) and physical attractiveness (15).
“Gen Z and Millennials are becoming culture shifters in regard to mental health, quality of life, and healing,” said eharmony relationship expert Minaa B. in the press release. “It makes sense that their interests in a partner are rooted in qualities such as emotional intelligence, humor, and intellect.”
‘Queer Eye’ star Tan France can’t stand tech, TikTok, and mommy bloggers
Tan France of ‘Queer Eye’ and ‘Next In Fashion’ talks about his tech habits, the French tuck, TikTok’s trendy crop-tuck, and why he can’t stand mommy bloggers.
Across the pond, in the quotidien hours of the mid-morning, Brits snack together. They call this phenomenon the “Elevenses” and, in the same way, Gretchen Weiners strived to make “fetch” a part of the American vernacular, Tan France is trying to make “Elevenses” happen here, too.
You know France from his work as a style savant on Queer Eye and competition show Next in Fashion. Now, in partnership with yogurt brand Noosa, he’s working to bring the term from his native Britain into vogue.
“Everyone does Elevenses,” he says over a Zoom call, looking habitually quaffed. “Nobody I know doesn’t do Elevenses. I’ve worked in an office here before, I know that around 10 or 11 people are snacking. It’s just that in America, there’s no word for it.”
We let France try to convince us of the fetch-ness of the “Elevenses,” but not before asking him about his tech habits and take on the latest TikTok fashion trend.
Mashable: Hi, Tan. I apologize for my voice, I’m just getting over a cold.
Tan France: Oh no! OK, then I’m going to be honest. I have the flu. We’re gonna get through this together! I moved three days ago, and I think it’s the exhaustion of how insanely stressful it’s been.
There’s a study that says the top three stressful things in life are divorce, moving…
And death.
You’re a father of two now. Parenting advice is very popular on TikTok, do you ever consult your For You Page for tips?
I’ve used TikTok, but I haven’t used it in quite some time. And I don’t really understand TikTok.
What don’t you understand about it?
Well, I just don’t know how to use it. I’m 40 now, and I’m very tech-averse. So I don’t I don’t know how to use it. I don’t know how to post on it, somebody else does that. I’m an Insta guy.
But no parenting advice on Instagram, either. You know, there’s a mommy blogger crowd.
I’m sorry, I can’t stand them. Because they make me feel crappy about my life thinking, “Why don’t I look gorgeous in my outfit and my kids look amazing?” I can’t do that, I can’t keep up with them. They make me feel crap about my life.
On my Instagram, I usually say how hard it is. I say, “I never look like this, it’s just for this shot.” Mommy bloggers just make me like they’re always living life like that.
You’re not on TikTok, but a device called the “crop tuck” is giving your French tuck method a run for its money.
Oh, I have seen this on Instagram. Yeah, it’s lovely. I think it’s absolutely lovely. I’m sure it’ll work great. It looks wonderful. However, I like the casual-ness of a French tuck.
How does one keep sweaters French-tucked into pants? Mine always pop out.
I don’t know. That’s a really good question because I don’t think it’s ever popped out for me. When you tuck the sweater, do you then pull the sweater out a bit?
Yes.
I don’t know what you’re doing, but I can’t help you.
You said you’re not really into tech at all. Why?
My phone, that’s all I can handle. We don’t have Alexa or whatever all those other things are. Literally no interest whatsoever. Anything techie, I’ve got to turn all that off. I cannot use tech, it drives me insane. Because it always crashes, it’s always complicated. You always have to reboot something, and I don’t know how to reboot something. Boots are the gorgeous heels I’ve got. Other than that, I want to talk about a boot.
You must have a laptop…
I do, but all I know how to do on it is Zoom. I have no idea how to use Excel, I don’t know how to copy and paste anything. That’s what I’ve got an assistant for.
How do you watch Queer Eye and Next in Fashion?
We have a smart TV where all I have to do is press the app and it’s there. I don’t set any of that up. My husband does it and then all I do is press a button. I haven’t even changed a lightbulb. He’s the techie guy, he does all the maintenance that needs doing. I’m like, “I think I know what I offer to our life. You do the other things.”
I’ve heard marriage is all about balance.
That’s it.
My grandfather was a Brit like you and would use one single cup all day for multiple rounds of tea.
That’s most Brits, that’s my family completely. Everyone has a cup. You don’t take that cup. I have my cup at my mum’s house that I’ve had since I was 13. It’s not like you’ve got a set of 10 cups and you just use whichever one. No, you use your cup.
He never mentioned this Elevenses thing to me.
I can’t imagine why somebody would mention Elevenses in England because we just know Elevenses. If you ask a Brit, “Do you know elevenses?” it’s like asking an American what the Super Bowl is. There was once an advert or, sorry, a commercial for this bar — it was a candy bar — but it was this “health” bar that they called Elevenses. They were just using the term that everyone knows.
Typically in England, your Elevenses is one of two things. It’s either a breakfast bar which, again, I just see as candy. It’s full of sugar, and it’s got as many calories.
It’s different than a biscuit?
You’re not having a biscuit for Elevenses, you’re having a biscuit for Tea. But I don’t mean tea. I mean, when we say, “What are you having for Tea” we mean that time between lunch and dinner. I know it’s insane. But at Tea time, we will have tea and biscuits that we dunk into tea.
But for Elevenses, it’s very typically a bar or yogurt because you’ve already had your cereal in the morning or your toast. And it’s too much to have a burger or whatever at 10:30, 11 and so you have something either shockingly sweet, which is this fake health bar, or something more nutritious, and it’s very typical in England to have yogurt.
There’s usually an entire section in a grocery store for your Elevenses yogurt. I’m not just saying it because we’re a part of this campaign, Noosa is my favorite yogurt. All of the flavors are lovely. but that lemon one is so insanely good. Coming in a real hot second is vanilla bean.
In the U.S., we usually think of yogurt as breakfast. What do we have to get past, culturally, to make yogurt our Elevenses snack?
The only hurdle is attaching a name. We’re finding that — and there’s a lot of research — that people are having yogurt in the mid-morning. So all this is to try and encourage Americans to use that name because there are many different names across the world: smak, brekky. But Elevenses is the only one that makes it very clear: It’s 11 o’clock, it’s time for that snack.
And the Brits won’t mind us borrowing, as we always do?
I mean, America has taken all of our great shows. So you may as well take our breakfast snack.
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‘Mean Girls’ trailer puts a Gen Z spin on the classic teen comedy
“Mean Girls,” starring Angourie Rice and Renee Rapp, is a musical re-imagining of Tina Fey’s 2004 comedy.
Get ready to meet the Plastics… again. We’re getting a new Mean Girls movie in 2024.
The film adapts the stage musical based on Tina Fey’s iconic 2004 teen comedy, which is a roundabout way of saying this is Mean Girls, but with songs. At least, that’s the theory: The trailer showcases none of the musical’s popular bops. (The only song you’ll hear is Olivia Rodrigo’s “Get Him Back.”)
Instead, the Mean Girls trailer makes sure it hits the main story beats of the original. Cady Heron (Angourie Rice) gets off to a rough start at her first high school, only to get embedded in a revenge plot targeting the school’s clique of Queen Bees, led by Regina George (Renee Rapp). Romantic rivalries, sexy Halloween costumes, and vicious Burn Books are soon to follow.
While the plot of Mean Girls matches that of the original, the story has been updated to take place now — which seems to mean adding a lot of TikTok into the mix. Not everything is totally new though: Fey reprises her role as math teacher Ms. Norbury, and Tim Meadows is back as Principal Duvall.