What is No Nut November? Why abstaining from masturbation isn’t healthy.
What is ‘No Nut November’? The practice of abstaining from masturbating for one month is harmful and the online community surrounding it spread misinformation about sex, and posts that are racist, antisemitic, and misogynistic.
“I got a massive W [win] recently because I managed to refuse sex during a wet dream,” 26-year-old Aaron tells Mashable. “So I’m the No Nut November king, heavy are the balls that wear the crown.”
Akin to monthly events centred on health-based challenges like Sober October or Movember, No Nut November is where people resist partnered sex and masturbation, with the aim of not ejaculating for 30 days. The challenge has developed into something of an online community, with hundreds of Discord servers and online forums acting as digital pseudo support groups for those taking part, and the No Nut November Reddit community totalling 137,000 members, called “nut comrades.”
While some are there to share memes and have a laugh, others are there to take the challenge very seriously, believing it will better them in some way. And some members have darker intentions.
Aaron, who works in digital advertising, says he partakes in No Nut November annually, and has done since 2017. He’s an avid Reddit user, which is where he came across the movement, and was led to believe it would come with an array of health benefits. “Better mental health,” “improved will power,” and “being better in bed” are just a few reasons he cites for signing up to the challenge.
“Frequent ejaculation is good for prostate health and masturbation is a healthy behaviour.”
The No Nut November community centres ideas like these. It has even been suggested by people in support of the challenge that abstinence can increase testosterone. But experts and actual research have presented data that suggests the complete opposite of this.
Sexologist and author of Sexology: The Basics Silva Neves tells Mashable that there are “literally no benefits to giving up masturbation for a month, or even a week. None. Frequent ejaculation is good for prostate health and masturbation is a healthy behaviour.”
In fact, masturbation is often used by many for stress relief and tension, and for better sleep. Neves explains stopping masturbation can increase people’s stress and people can have less good quality sleep, which can impact on their work, their relationships, and their overall well-being.
Sex educator and author of All the F*cking Mistakes Gigi Engle adds that giving up masturbation will also likely make you sexually frustrated. “It will make you more irritable if you’re not getting that release. If you stop masturbating, it can also make you more anxious. You don’t need to masturbate for a month if you don’t want to, but there’s no real pros to giving it up,” she explains.
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“Turning down sex and giving up wanking is a big thing for a man,” Aaron adds. “There’s just something about resisting it for an entire month and having your boys big you up that feels like a good accomplishment. I need to know I’m able to do it, so I know I’m not addicted.”
There’s an ongoing narrative in the No Nut November movement that these side effects of a lack of masturbation are a “symptom” that men are “hooked” on sexual pleasure. This feeds into the myth of sex addiction, which is not actually recognised by science.
“It does not make you a failure to masturbate. The idea that it does comes from purity culture where masturbation is considered about as ‘dirty’ and ‘sinful.'”
Neves adds that many members of the community will use this misconception as a reason why men should try harder to stop. “But those symptoms are an indication that they become dysregulated because they have lost one central and healthy and harmless way to manage their stress.”
The movement is also underpinned by ideas of “winning” and “losing”. A quick scroll through the No Nut Subreddit reveals disturbing posts of misogyny and intense, public group shaming towards those who share their “failures”. One Reddit user shared that he got an erection over Amy Schumer which received thousands of downvotes (the dislikes of Reddit) and shame-fuelled comments like “man down” and sexist replies like “come on, if you’re going to break NNN, do it for someone hotter than that.”
Engle explains that this language focused on showing your power and “winning” is rooted in misogynistic purity culture. “It does not make you a failure to masturbate. The idea that it does comes from purity culture where masturbation is considered about as ‘dirty’ and ‘sinful’ and that taking part in it makes you weak or perverted. None of this has any scientific basis or evidence.”
Neves says that associating masturbation with failure can have a severe impact on the person’s mental health. “It can be detrimental to people’s psychological well-being,” he explains. “Having the goal of restraining masturbation for one month as a ‘win’ can increase shame, stress, anxiety, a sense of failure, impacting on self-esteem and they often feel ‘not man enough’ or even ‘broken’ if they don’t succeed. Those who do succeed put themselves on a pedestal looking down on those who don’t.”
Basically, the whole movement is pretty shame-drenched, and at times, just plain cruel. A better challenge, Neves suggests, would be trying not to judge other people’s sex lives for one month.
Unfortunately, sexual health misinformation and toxic masculinity displays are not the only problems with the movement. What began as an online challenge for a bit of fun or an opportunity to shitpost online at best, has been co-opted by the far-right. Racism, misogyny and anti-semitism runs rife on the No Nut November subreddit and other #NNN discussions on social media platforms like Twitter.
A deeper message propelling No Nut November is an anti-porn and anti-sex worker agenda. Most [cisgender] men use visual aids for sexual stimulation. So, for many, abstaining from masturbation means refraining from pornography use. And rather than take this into their own hands, many in the community have harassed sex workers online, projecting blame.
“Some of those No Nut November forums have been found to be misogynistic, homophobic and antisemitic,” Neves adds. “They incite violence towards pornographers and women who are sexual. There is a nasty underbelly to these movements.”
Back in 2018, for example, porn company xHamster tweeted against No Nut November, albeit playfully, implying that the movement shared misinformation and that porn wasn’t the bad guy. The fallout from this pretty innocent tweet, were violent anti-sex worker replies like “capital punishment for pornographers now” and anti-semitic images suggesting that Jewish people control pornography. Similar messages of sexism and anti semitism remain four years later, both on the #NoNutNovember hashtag on twitter, and in Reddit spaces.
29-year-old copywriter Sanjai tells Mashable he took part in No Nut November four years ago after hearing some of his favourite podcasts talk about how freeing it was for them. “They talked about it like it was a fitness challenge which is something I’ve always loved doing and liked the feeling of accomplishing. I didn’t really wank that much anyway, not compared to my mates anyway, so I thought ‘why not?'”
Sanjai did come across anonymous forums for the challenge like the Subreddit along with a couple of Ddiscord servers. “I wasn’t there long. It was fucking disturbing to be honest. These men are really weird,” he shares.
“[I saw] sexism, racism, conspiracies. You name it. I just wanted to see how long I could go without wanking, man,” he laughs.
Aaron says he’s aware of this part of the No Nut November community, but doesn’t get involved. “I don’t know anyone personally, that’s part of all of that stuff. It’s nothing to do with abstinence anyway so I don’t know why it’s there but I guess racists will use whatever [they can].”
Neves says a lot of people have received misinformation about masturbation, often accompanied by misinformation about watching porn, and they feel shame about their masturbation behaviours. This is likely what initially attracts so many men to take part in the movement, along with the element of community and support that’s visible from the outside. But when they get there, they’re introduced to alt-right propaganda, misinformation, and violence instead.
Being exposed to shameful language around sex is also no small enemy. Engle points out that engaging in sex negativity can make people feel like they can’t talk about sex (which creates problems around consent and managing sexual boundaries), make them avoidant in sexual exchanges because they’re worried about their performance (a common cause of erectile dysfunction) and encourage misogynistic ideas.
If you’ve participated in No Nut November this month or you’ve caught wind of it and were thinking about it for next year, consider that you’re likely to interact with intense shame, sex negativity, discriminatory behaviour and inaccurate sexual health information. You certainly won’t learn anything about who you are as a man, person, or lover of any kind. Close your Reddit tab and have a wank instead.
This story was first published in 2022 and republished in 2023.
Higher cell phone use linked with lower sperm count, research suggests
There’s a new study about cell phone usages and how it may impact sperm.
A new study out of the journal Fertility and Sterility suggests that higher cell phone usage may be associated with lower sperm counts.
The study, called “Association between self-reported mobile phone use and the semen quality of young men,” was published on October 31. Researchers recruited over 2,800 men — 2,886 to be exact — ages 18-22 from the general Swiss population between 2005-2018 during their mandatory military service.
This study was brought about because of the sharp increase in cell phone usage in the past few decades and concern over potential risks. Our phones emit a low level of non-ionizing radio frequency radiation, which is generally considered harmless according to the FDA, but some people have concerns as to how it impacts reproductive health.
Of the total amount of men who participated in the study, researchers had data on mobile phone usage for the vast majority (2,789). Of those, 2,759 responded to questions about frequency of cell phone usage, and 2,764 provided details of whereabouts of their phones when not in use.
“The median sperm concentration and TSC [total sperm count] were significantly higher in the group of men who did not use their phones more than once per week…compared with men using their phones >20 times per day,” the study reports.
This correlates into a 21 percent decrease in sperm concentration and 22 percent decrease in TSC for frequent (over 20 times a day) compared to rare (less than once a week) cell phone users.
The odds of having sperm concentration below the World Health Organization’s (WHO) reference value for fertile men (15 million sperm per milliliter) was significantly higher for men who use their phones 5-10 times a day compared to those who used it 1-5 times a day or less than once a week. “In this logistic regression model, men using their phones >20 times per day had a 30 [percent] and a 21 [percent] increased risk of having sperm concentration and TSC below the WHO reference values for fertile men, respectively,” according to the study.
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Sperm volume, motility (the ability to move properly), and morphology (size and shape) differences weren’t associated with cell phone use frequency. The majority of men in the study (85.7 percent) kept their phones in their pants pockets, but that was not associated with sperm quality differences either.
Correlation also doesn’t mean causation. Lifestyle factors like diet, alcohol use, cigarette smoking, stress, and others can affect infertility as well. As the study concludes, “The lack of clear evidence for a negative association between mobile phone use and male fertility [meaning an increase in cell phone use while a decrease in fertility], as well as the dramatic increase in cell phone use over the past decade, underscores the need for further research in this area.”
Baldur’s Gate 3 Patch Brings Over 1,000 More Tweaks And Fixes
Larian has dropped another colossal patch for its hugely successful Dungeons & Dragons role-playing game, Baldur’s Gate 3, and it brings over 1000 individual fixes and tweaks to the game just as we head into its three-month anniversary.
AdultFriendFinder review 2023: Best hookup site for sex (UK)
AdultFriendFinder is a borderline-porn hookup site that’s stuck in the past. That’s not necessarily a bad thing.
This content originally appeared on Mashable for a US audience and has been adapted for the UK audience.
Moving to a new area or working at a new job where you don’t know anybody can be seriously depressing, especially if you’re already introverted as it is. What are you supposed to do? Go sit at the bar by yourself? And talk to strangers? No thanks.
Then comes the lightbulb idea: You can make friends online. If online dating is so popular and successful, there’s no way that there aren’t a few legit sites where you can make adult friends in your area with similar interests. After a quick search, AdultFriendFinder sounds like a good place to start.
So you’re on your lunch break at work, type in the URL, and the next thing you know, you’re frantically closing the tab and hoping nobody walked behind you for that split second. AdultFriendFinder is not what it sounds like.
What is AdultFriendFinder?
AdultFriendFinder is one of the most well-known sites for finding quick sexual encounters, regular hookups, and literally anything else even remotely related to sex. The rowdy feed of matches, jumble of explicit photos, and stimulating calls-to-action offering all types of sex makes it heaven for anyone looking for a good time with no filter — and hell for someone who wouldn’t be caught dead clicking on a “There are hot singles in your area” ad.
Even if you’re not using it for real sex, it’s always nice to have spank bank material in your back pocket. During the early days of the coronavirus pandemic, sexting, nudes, and Pornhub searches all saw a spike thanks to the vast number of people who started social distancing at home. Those who didn’t want to risk quarantine sex or weren’t finding people on their level of horniness on Tinder were pretty much guaranteed to get their rocks off somehow via AdultFriendFinder.
On AFF, you can find someone to sext via messaging or video (and plan to get it on IRL, if that’s what you’re looking for), watch live streams, or join niche group chats. Is it worth £15-something per month? Depends on how much fishy content you’re willing to overlook for a juicy sexting session.
We reached out to Kalyn Sanders, a business development executive at Friend Finder Networks, for updated AFF demographics. Right up there with Tinder’s monthly flock, AdultFriendFinder snags the attention of over 55 million visits around the world per month, on average. To whet your appetite upon signup, the main landing page flashes a few statistics, including “98,897,765 hot photos” and “3,375,049 connections,” but we’re not exactly sure what that means. Most traffic originates from the United States, followed by visitors from the United Kingdom and Canada.
Specifics on the demographic that most people care about — the gender ratio — can be hard to track down. Sanders told us that “there’s a two to one ratio of single men versus categories like single women, couples, and groups.” The split between men and women is an expected one for a lot of hookup-centric sites. At the end of the day, it’s a paradise for straight men, hit-or-miss for straight women and LGBTQ men, and likely an actual hellscape for LGBTQ women.
AFF lets you identify as and search for a man, woman, a couple, or trans. Despite trying to be a sex-positive site with blog posts, groups, a sex academy, and more, its language for the LGBTQ community has historically been anything but inclusive or positive. Previously, the AFF sign-up page listed “TG/TV/TS” as the “trans” gender selection — we’ll let you infer what those stand for. Though, we will admit, this language has improved recently with more gender options that are appropriately labeled.
Can you find a serious relationship on AdultFriendFinder?
If you’re 100% over being grilled with relationship questions on traditional dating sites like EliteSingles and eharmony, AdultFriendFinder is your golden ticket to instant communication. Registering takes literally 30 seconds — they require nothing from you aside from an email address, a username, a password, and an introduction. Though they don’t require a bio or a picture, it’s probably best to add a few to up your chances for messages and flirtation, especially if you’re looking for something super specific, as you’re more likely to be contacted by people looking for the same thing.
After you register, you’ll see that there are loads of options to completely personalise your account (way more than we expected from a hookup site, to be honest). The more you fill out, the more attractive your profile will be to new viewers. There are the basic physical appearance questions about eye and hair colour, plus more intimate details.
There’s also a personality test that seemed pretty close to something you’d see on Match or eharmony, and we guess it’s comforting to know that some people on here care about what’s on the inside as well.
One of the funniest forms was the “Purity Test,” featuring 100 hilariously-worded questions about how far you’re willing to go sexually. It felt like the sexy 20 questions game that you’d play with your middle school crush when neither of you knew how to flirt, but we guess this information is pertinent when you’re on a site that’s all about sex.
There’s no real matching strategy other than the basic info on physical appearances, so don’t get your hopes up when it comes to finding a lasting connection or kindred soul — but hey, if you’re on the site for the same reasons most other people are, that stuff won’t really matter anyway.
How do you match on AdultFriendFinder?
Like a traditional dating site, AdultFriendFinderAdultFriendFinder gives you a collage of potential matches at the top of your personal home page. These will be random right after you sign up, but you can opt to update your preferences to refine your results: Choose your preferred gender(s), age range, location and mile radius, race, sexual orientation, body type, and marital status. They’ll let you know who’s online when you are, which matches are closest to you, new people who liked or messaged you, and all of that good stuff.
AdultFriendFinder is basically like a PornHub that you can interact with. We probably don’t have to say this, but AdultFriendFinder is NSFW and not safe to be on while kids are in the room. Some videos will be blurred out and read “Naughty video” until you upgrade to a Gold Membership.
The message section is set up similarly to a Gmail account, and you can mark things as read or important just as you would on a real email. How professional. You’ll also receive messages instantly, which is definitely a confidence boost even though you know they’re probably just looking for one thing.
You can tell who took the time to look at your profile and who is sending the same thing to everyone, but it’s nice to see that there is a range. Unlike more traditional dating sites, these people don’t need to talk and get to know you for months before meeting. If you’re tired of things moving too slowly or need a change of pace, it’s pretty awesome to know you can immediately make plans for each night of the week.
What does AdultFriendFinder do well?
Once you get past the in-your-face sexplosion of naked profile pictures, horny AIM-era profile names, and explicit videos, there are actually an impressive number of resources to help make your experience as satisfying as possible. Some will cost money even outside of the paid subscription, which is kinda dumb.
Aside from the NSFW content, the website is relatively straightforward (albeit ugly). Every feature is advertised in big letters, notifications are displayed clearly with labels, and you don’t really have to click around to find anything. This makes it super accessible for users of all ages, even those who aren’t tech-savvy and can’t even figure out Facebook. Buttons are all over the place, but you figure it out after messing around for a few minutes.
Activities range from direct messaging, sending virtual gifts, watching live videos of people in your feed, joining adult chat rooms that can get very niche, or entering photo contests.
Think of AdultFriendFinder as the dating site version of New York City — it never sleeps. You’ll find people who work the regular 9-5, people who work the night shift, and people in other time zones, so it’s nearly impossible to log on and not have a lot of people to talk to. You know, like that booty call who’s always awake when you text them.
Or at least that used to be the case… 10 years ago. What was once a hot site that a few Reddit users were quick to hype up is now one of the dating sites that Reddit users can’t help but diss — in the few instances that AFF is even being discussed at all. The Reddit community is diverse and open-minded, and if a dating site exists, someone on Reddit has used it and has an opinion on it. It’s notable that, on a site where online dating is such a mammoth topic of discussion, that AdultFriendFinder has rarely been mentioned since the early 2010s. When an innocent soul does ask if it’s legit, AFF usually gets dragged for sketchy pricing and being ridden with bots.
Is AdultFriendFinder available for free?
As previously mentioned, you can do a lot on the site without paying a penny: You can message people, reply to emails, and visit most profiles and chat rooms. You know, all of the basic stuff. But with just a few clicks AdultFriendFinder can send you deep down the rabbit hole, and a lot of that juicier hidden content can only be unlocked with a paid membership (called the Gold membership) or by earning points.
Points are AdultFriendFinder’s non-monetary currency. If you’re a free member, you’ll have to earn points through on-site activity to unlock stuff that’s exclusive to paying members. It’s kind of like a game, with points acting like money at the strip club. You can “tip” updates, photos, or videos from a member that you like, buy “bling” (which is basically a badge that makes you look cooler), watch racy videos that are usually blurred out or access other exclusive site content, or “buy” a Gold membership for a month. The more points you have, the more you get out of the site.
But all of that stuff takes a really long time, and is honestly just a hassle. If you want access to all those features, just pay for a Gold membership and upgrade.
If you’re a guy looking for girls, we might suggest getting a Gold membership as the standard. While researching on Reddit, we found a few girls who said they won’t meet a guy unless he’s a Gold member. A Gold membership puts a little bit more credibility behind someone’s profile and makes the entire encounter a little less threatening. It’s easier to believe that someone’s a real person if they’re a paying, active member of the site, and it’s nice to know that they’re taking it slightly seriously. Plus, if you see a picture or profile that looks like it’s five years old, it really might be — there are a ton of non-active profiles from old members and escorts still lingering on the site.
If you find yourself spending more quality time on the site than you expected, becoming a paid member is definitely something to consider. Once you’re paying, you basically become royalty on the site: Your profile will appear way higher in searches, you can use the most advanced searches, and you can read emails and message to your heart’s content (messages and emails are limited with a free account).
A Gold membership can unlock everything that the site has to offer, including unlimited messaging, profiles with private photo albums, and video profiles that are only available for Gold members as well. A general rule is that increased involvement and payment on your end generally equals more success on the website, as your constant activity and heightened search-ability makes it way easier for others to find you. Plus, you’ll just get bored with the free features after a while.
Like every other dating site, prices for a Gold membership get cheaper the longer your subscription is: one month is £25.08/month, three months is £16.71/month, and one year is £11.27/month.
Who should try AdultFriendFinder?
This is pretty obvious, but AdultFriendFinder is ace for people who want a quick hookup, people who are in a sexual rut, people who are tired of porn, and people who find sites like eharmony to be lame. Those long compatibility tests can be exhausting, and sometimes you just wanna skip the small talk and have sex. It’s gonna get kinky out there, and that’s great for those who are dying to blow off steam and are in need of someone who will respond well to a sexy message. It also might be a good place for people who are freshly out of a breakup and in need of attention.
Did we mention it’s also a huge confidence boost? People are so active on this site, it’s impossible not to feel adored. Just seeing the notifications of users wanting to talk to you will make your heart flutter, and you’ll start to loosen up. Even if you’re rejected a few times, you’ll learn which opening lines and flirty comments work and which don’t, making you a smoother operator.
AdultFriendFinder‘s pro-sex, judgment-free environment means it’s open to everyone and highly inclusive, no matter your gender identity or sexual orientation. The variety of people on this thing is so massive that it’s nearly impossible to not to meet someone.
As with all dating sites, catfishing is a big buzzkill. Your chances of being pursued are way higher if you have a lot of pictures of the same person (AKA you), videos, and a genuine profile that lets people know they’re not dealing with something sketchy. Even if you’ve had bad luck with online dating in the past, AdultFriendFinder is the place to 100% be yourself.
The site may look like an ad for a strip club, but don’t judge a dating site by its cover. If you’re willing to look past the questionable design choices, AdultFriendFinder can seriously expand your sexual horizons and introduce you to individuals you never would have met otherwise.
Who should avoid AdultFriendFinder?
You know those warnings that thrill rides at amusement parks are required to put up that tell people who get dizzy easily or have heart problems to not get on the ride? AdultFriendFinder could use something like that. This site is not for the faint of heart — if you’re a cynic, conservative by any means, or get sketched out easily, you’re probably going to hate it. If you appreciate a well-crafted, aesthetically pleasing website that feels safe — no matter how badly you want to have sex — then this dating site is probably not for you. Nothing is left to the imagination here, and it’s definitely not going to be everyone’s cup of tea. You have got to be open minded.
AdultFriendFinder is not the place to be if you’re trying to make friends, unless “with benefits” is tacked onto the end. Every inch of the site screams “this website is used to have sex,” and you should really listen to that. You might get a date out of it, but don’t expect the person to introduce you to their parents.
But this isn’t to say that meaningful connections or finding a genuine adult friend (get it?) is impossible. There is always the chance of a pure friendship, particularly between two like-minded individuals.
What could AdultFriendFinder do better?
The entire website looks like an ad about hot MILFs that pops up when you’re illegally streaming a movie. Seriously, it’s bad. Even though the website is technically legit, the pictures, word choice, and exclamation points everywhere scream “scam.” No, AdultFriendFinder, “98,897,765 Hot Photos” is not the way to make potential new users trust you.
We’re not knocking a quick hookup or no-strings-attached relations. This isn’t about morals. Genitals are quite literally in your face from the moment you make an account, and that’s just not cute. There are chiller ways to go about insinuating that this is a hookup website without feeling like you’re trapped in a sex dungeon with strangers.
It’s difficult to get past the fact that the entire site looks like it’s about to invite five viruses to your computer. We’re talking terrible graphics that look like they were made on Microsoft Paint and pictures of women who look like they’re from Pornhub in 2007. Reddit user Snoo53279 summed it up in a comment from July 2020: “The people on AFF are definitely real, but there is a huge smattering of bots that also get in the way so it can be a bit of a PITA to use.” If they’re not bots, they could be men posing as a couple to seem less threatening.
The parade of women on the landing page is questionable for two reasons. This shouldn’t even need to be clarified, but not everyone is looking for a woman. At the least, the advertising just isn’t inclusive — but this crosses into fetishisation territory. The cherry on top is that the women in the photos (unsurprisingly) probably aren’t even members on the site, according to a disclaimer at the bottom of the landing page.
AdultFriendFinder’s overall outdated vibe goes past an aesthetic annoyance — it’s downright problematic at times. The “TS/TV/TGs” part of sign-up is nearly unforgivable, and we’d be scared to see some of the related rhetoric that AFF users feel comfortable spewing. Without even a dash of social awareness, it’s hard to see how anyone who’s not an out-of-touch straight cis man would feel comfortable on this site.
Attempting to navigate the shoddy design might just be enough to smother your horniness. Three main issues can make the site borderline unusable: It looks shady as hell, an alarming portion of the user base is made up of bots and spam accounts, and the user interface itself is outdated and rife with bugs.
Other Reddit users mention that the desktop web version won’t even load for them at random times — an especially frustrating roadblock for people who want to end their membership and stop monthly charges. A solution to the laggy web version might be to clear your cache or use the smartphone app instead, but your experience probably won’t get better there. AFF’s mobile page doesn’t even mention an Android app, and the link to the iPhone app brings up a “not available” pop-up in the App Store. For a site that claims to have over 50 million visitors each month, the lack of accessibility to a smartphone app is just plain odd — especially in 2021.
Adding to the sketchiness, a network hack in 2016 exposed around 412 million accounts, including “deleted” accounts that weren’t actually deleted from the database. If this is enough reason for you to fall back on Tinder for finding a friend with benefits, we don’t blame you. Signing up with a burner email and avoiding using your real name as a username are wise moves (just pick a naughty word and add 69 to the end, maybe), though keeping your personal information private is hard when credit cards are involved.
In 2007, AFF was involved in a lawsuit with the FTC over allegations that the site used malware to send explicit pop-up ads to computers owned by people who hadn’t signed up for the service. Though we haven’t seen reports like this recently, so we’re hoping those ridiculous ads you see are at least confined to people who actually use the site.
What is the best alternative to AdultFriendFinder?
Surprisingly, AdultFriendFinder is one of the more tame hookup sites out there. While other hookup sites have names like Swing Towns and Instabang.com, AdultFriendFinder is probably the safest in terms of your Google search history. Most have the same general idea, which is to find sexual partners, have cyber sex, etc, but with names like those, you do start to question the authenticity. AdultFriendFinder is one of the biggest players in the world of legitimate adult dating/hookup sites and boasts a way larger and more diverse audience than a lot of these newer sites.
Horny Matches is one newer dating site that could be starting to slide in, but it hasn’t stolen AdultFriendFinder’s thunder just yet, perhaps due to its dodgy name. It does have its advantages, though. Horny Matches’ first advantage is just that it’s more modern and looks cleaner. The title is more obvious, but the main page encourages “taking the first step” rather than mentioning the words “horny” and “sex” multiple times. The audience isn’t nearly as large as AdultFriendFinder, though, and most people will take more options and a less over an aesthetically pleasing app.
Is AdultFriendFinder right for you?
AdultFriendFinder is possibly the easiest, most low pressure way to find a friends-with-benefits situation without insulting anyone. Everyone is pretty much there for the same reason — and though it’ll feel pretty unorthodox if you’ve only ever used to Tinder to scope this type of thing out, AFF’s blunt advertising at least means you won’t have to explain that you’re not looking for a relationship. It’s niche-friendly, well-populated, and has a lot of interactive outlets to indulge your primal urges.
But that freedom comes with a price — the price being feeling like one of those people who falls for the ads that pop up before a free Pornhub video. It’s not that a site dedicated to sex and sexting is inherently scammy — it’s that AdultFriendFinder drowns you with explicit photos on profiles who might not even be real people while asking you to pay for a subscription with every click. Unfortunately, no matter how in the mood you are, some people aren’t cut out for the nothing-left-to-the-imagination approach with grammar mistakes all over the place. It wants to be sex-positive so badly, but the way sign-up talks about the trans community is the furthest thing from that.
The functionality and safety of the site and the mobile app aren’t where they need to be in 2021. If security measures were tightened, graphics and photos were cleaned up to feel more relevant, and decision-makers behind the scenes were given a lesson in inclusivity and pronouns/identities, AdultFriendFinder could be a handy tool to find attachment-free hookups and connect with a community that’s down for anything.
If you’re brave enough to jump into the action, you can register for AdultFriendFinder. Good luck out there — and don’t try this at work.
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Credit: AdultFriendFinder
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We’ve lined up the best apps for sending spicy messages, including AdultFriendFinder, Tinder, and more.
This content originally appeared on Mashable for a US audience and has been adapted for the UK audience.
In a world where online dating and casual hookups have become the norm, dating can still feel exhausting. Sometimes, just the thought of putting on proper clothes, coming up with witty conversation starters, and commuting to the actual meetup spot can be tiring.
No matter what kind of encounter you plan, when it comes to dating, there’ll always be some sort of physical effort required.
The good news? There is a loophole: Sexting.
What is sexting?
Sexting is the art of sending sexually explicit photos or messages to one or more people via text. Thanks to its recent rise in popularity, there are now apps for sexting and new sexting features in apps that are otherwise for dating in person.
What do you need to know about sexting?
Whether you’re interested in giving sexting a try or you’re a seasoned pro, there are a few things to keep in mind when downloading and using a new dating app to sext. Sure, there are fewer inhibitions when scoring a new sexting partner when compared to finding a long-term lover, but there are rules you should follow in order for all parties to feel at ease. Here are three big ones:
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Mutual respect — Assess the situation and know your audience. Usually, it doesn’t take much more than a few pre-sext texts (or pre-sexts) to gauge whether or not someone is interested in doing the cyber-dirty with you. Take the time to figure that out before you lead with something raunchy and uncalled-for. AKA, don’t just start throwing dick pics at people left and right if they didn’t ask.
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Mutual trust — Be respectful: Privacy is sacred. The internet has the scary ability to make fleeting moments very permanent. If someone asks you to keep something to yourself, do it. While sexting can be light and fun, it also requires a serious level of trust. If you betray that trust, you’re ruining it for everybody.
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Privacy — No app can completely protect your privacy for you — that’s your job. Though there are apps that have certain features that are designed to protect your identity/content, they don’t rule out all scenarios. For example, someone doesn’t need to take a screenshot to capture a picture you send. They could easily use another phone or device to snap or record your photos and/or videos. You should always keep this in mind before sending anything that could be compromising, and do your best to make sure you trust the person who’s receiving your messages.
Keep these points in mind when engaging in NSFW messaging.
Should you engage in sexting?
Real-life dating is obviously the best way to get to know somebody long-term, especially if you’re looking for any kind of serious, in-person relationship. And real sex will always be better than sexting. However, sexting is an alternative that may help you out in ways you didn’t even think about.
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Convenience — Whether you plan to wine and dine on your date or just meet to hook up, it always requires some extra effort. For those with super hectic schedules or those who just don’t have room in their life (for whatever reason) for a steady in-person relationship, sexting is practically a saving grace. After all, your sex drive doesn’t go away just because you’re busy. Sexting allows you to take care of your sexual needs without putting yourself out.
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Exploring trust and intimacy — Getting comfortable with another person in close quarters doesn’t always come naturally for everyone — but opting for sexting gives way to a new level of exploration in terms of intimacy and trust. You don’t ever have to meet the person behind the screen if you don’t want to, but being able to practice feeling vulnerable without any strings attached can be a great lesson in being more open.
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Freedom — As is the case with most behind-the-screen activities, with sexting, you can let go of your inhibitions and get comfortable exploring your sexual side. Knowing there’s a certain barrier between you and the other person may allow you to experiment with language and ideas that you wouldn’t otherwise explore in person.
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Fun — A little honesty, please. A night of sexting is always going to be a lot more fun than endlessly swiping right on a dating app and starting the same conversation over and over. Having the option of opening an app on your phone and engaging in a little virtual foreplay offers instant gratification and (almost) guaranteed pleasure.
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Safety — We’ve touched on the reasons why sexting might not be completely safe in terms of privacy, but to its credit, sexting offers an element of safety that in-person meetings don’t. Sexting allows you to interact with both people you know and total strangers without putting yourself in dangerous or unwanted physical situations. Your experience should always be what you want it to be, and with sexting, if it’s not going in the direction you want, it’s just a matter of closing an app.
The benefits are clear for all to see, so not give it a try?
What makes an app good for sexting?
You’ll want to look for certain features in an app if you’re planning on sexting:
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Ease of use — You don’t want to find yourself in a hot and steamy conversation trying to figure out how to attach an image or a voice note. When it comes to sexting, the more user-friendly the platform is, the better. You’ll want something that’s efficient and fast.
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Privacy features — What happens in a sexting app doesn’t always stay in a sexting app; there are no guarantees that your conversations or selfies won’t wind up a screenshot on someone’s phone. That said, certain apps include instant self-destruction features that delete photos and conversations after a certain amount of time.
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Safety — If you’re looking for a night of no-strings-attached fun online, it doesn’t really matter if the person on the other end of your conversation has been verified — but if you do want to ensure you’re not being catfished or chatting with a bot, consider using an app that links social media or verifies users.
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Subscription pricing versus free features — How much are you willing to pay for bells and whistles? There are several free apps out there, but if you’re looking for something a little fancier, you can pay a few pounds a month for premium features.
With these features in mind, you should be ready to select an app and start sexting. You’ve got this.
What is the best app for sexting?
Since sexting, by nature, comes with a lot of factors to consider (consent and privacy, for example), we’ve picked out the best sexting apps to get you off — to a good start, that is. We’ve tried to line up something for everyone, so check out these options, and pick your favourite.
These are the best sexting apps in 2023.
The 6 best dating sites for geeks and nerds
Discover the best dating sites for geeks, nerds, and sci-fi fans. Find your perfect match and embrace your inner geek.
If there’s one thing geeks know how to do, it’s care a lot.
We’re no strangers to nerding out and expressing our love with no reservations, but sometimes, it can be hard to find like-minded people in the dating pool.
For women, it can involve a lot of creepy guys who want their manic pixie dream girl. For men, it can involve a lot of simply trying not to be that guy. If you’re in the majority of geeks who are a little bit introverted, dating can be more than a little intimidating.
Are there dating sites for geeks?
Yes, but you may not need them.
We compared the internet’s top full-on dating sites, trendy swiping apps, and geek-specific sites to find the ones where geeks can express themselves and find that twin flame. Hidden in millions and millions of users, you could find someone who shares your passion, whether it’s an endless debate about whether there will ever be a Pokémon game as good as Pokémon Emerald or the perfect couple’s cosplay inspired by your favorite Star Trek characters. Bonus: they’re all readily accessible via the App Store and the Google Play Store.
You’ll notice that we no longer include any geek-specific sites in our recommendations because we found them to be out-of-date — you can find more info on this decision in our ‘How we tested’ section below.
Here are our top picks for the best dating sites for geeks, nerds, and anyone passionate about their niche hobbies:
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Best sex and dating apps for hooking up in 2023 (UK)
Looking for no strings attached sex? We’ve lined up a selection of sex apps for finding something casual.
This content originally appeared on Mashable for a US audience and has been adapted for the UK audience.
Hookup culture is all about keeping things casual, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. Everyone gets stuck in a sexual rut at some point in their lives, and trying to take strangers home from a bar or constantly texting your ex can be exhausting. If you’re struggling to find a match in the real world, it might be time to put your faith in dating sites.
When we think about these sites, it’s normal to go straight to the likes of Match, eharmony, EliteSingles, and other marriage-minded options, but not everyone is thinking about something so serious. Sometimes you just want to have fun.
How do you find a hookup?
It’s still possible to find a connection in the real world, because meeting in bars, clubs, parks, and other real-life locations still happens on a regular basis. You’re simply shortening your odds by subscribing to a dating site. Why not give yourself the best chance of success? You know it makes sense.
Dating sites and sex apps allow you to get your information out there to a massive network of like-minded individuals. Plus, you can save a lot of time, energy, and cash by testing out a potential relationship on an app before meeting up. We know that some dating apps can be expensive, but just think about all those wasted coffees you could avoid by chatting through an app first.
Lastly, using dating apps and sites is a whole lot less intimidating than meeting someone face to face. If you find the idea of meeting people slightly terrifying, these apps can help you dip your toe into the world of dating from the comfort of your own home.
Should you use free dating apps?
The good news is that there are a lot of free dating sites and apps out there, and the likes of Tinder and Hinge are popular options with massive networks of users. Plus, most of the biggest and best dating sites have free versions with limitations on certain features. So yes, you can easily enter the online dating game without spending anything. However, as with most things in life, you get what you pay for with dating apps. And sometimes free apps just don’t cut it.
For the best experience with the greatest possibility of finding exactly what you’re looking for, you are going to have to cough up some cash. We’re sorry to break it to you, but the best dating sites don’t come cheap. It all comes down to access to advanced and premium features. You can still find a hookup with a free app, but if you’re looking for compatibility tests, chat rooms, videos, and a greater level of control, we recommend upgrading.
What makes an app good for hooking up?
When it comes to sex apps, you probably don’t mind long questionnaires or in-depth profiles, but when you’re just looking for a casual hookup, that all seems unnecessary. Sure, you want to gauge that you’re at least a little compatible and not hooking up with a complete psychopath. The best hookup apps have quick and easy bios or prompts that give you an insight into who you’d be getting down and dirty with.
Photos are also a huge factor in good hookup apps. Some sex apps and dating sites gatekeep people’s pics unless you have a paid subscription, and we don’t really love that. Apps that show the full view of someone’s profile are the way to go. You definitely want to make sure you’re physically attracted to the person you’re going to be having sex with.
What is the best sex and dating app for hooking up?
The good news is that there are absolutely loads of dating sites and sex apps out there for every type of dater and dating situation. The problem with this wealth of options is that deciding on the right site for you can be difficult. This is where we can help.
We have tracked down a strong selection of your best options for hooking up, with sites like AdultFriendFinder and iHookup making the cut. There should be something for everyone in this list, so what do you have to lose?
These are the best hookup sites and apps in 2023.
Best 420-friendly dating sites 2023: Find new buds
Looking for a 420-friendly dating site? We’ve got you covered, whether you’re a casual smoker or a serious stoner.
Recreational weed has been legalized and/or decriminalized in many states, but if your relationship with bud has ever affected a budding relationship, you know that it’s still a dealbreaker for some people.
Fortunately, for all their myriad faults, modern dating apps make it incredibly easy to meet like-minded people who share your interests and hobbies — including those who are chill with cannabis. Many popular apps and sites now have built-in questions about marijuana, among other recreational drugs, that you can answer when you create your profile or set as a filter. Built-in algorithms will tailor their results to feature people who also smoke, or don’t mind if you do.
Whether you’re sick of feeling like a criminal in awkward first-date conversations or just want to skip the hassle of discussing weed use altogether, keep reading: We’ve scoured the web to find the best 420-friendly dating sites and apps where you can connect with singles who enjoy a blunt (or an edible) just as much as you do.
Cannabis culture and 420-friendly dating in 2023
Before we introduce you to the world of 420-friendly dating, let’s take a second to look at some facts.
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As of Oct. 30, 2023, 23 states and the District of Columbia have legalized recreational marijuana. It’s legal for medical use in 38 states and in Washington, D.C.
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Approximately 88 percent of U.S. adults want to legalize weed for recreational and/or medical use, according to a Pew Research Center survey. Only 10 percent of participants said it shouldn’t be legal under any circumstances.
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Weed has the potential to improve your love life. A 2019 Match survey found that pot smokers were 151 percent more likely to be coupled up than nonsmokers. What’s more, smokers were 109 percent more likely to have had multiple orgasms and had 3.6 percent more orgasms per sexual encounter compared to their abstaining peers.
More than filters: Finding a weed-friendly partner is easier than ever
By now, you’re probably thinking: This is great, but how do I find the right 420-friendly dating site for me? Luckily, there are unique dating sites designed specifically for this purpose, including High There! and My420Mate. If you want to stick with more mainstream dating sites like Match, you can use their filters to find your ideal smoking buddy.
Read on for a rundown of the best dating sites for cannabis enthusiasts and 420-friendly singles looking for love in 2023.