Tech / Technology

‘The Curse’ review: Emma Stone, Nathan Fielder, and Benny Safdie are here to break your brains

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“The Curse” stars Emma Stone and Nathan Fielder as a couple with an upcoming HGTV show, and Benny Safdie plays their producer.
A man and woman smiling in front of a mirrored house; a boom mic hangs over them.

From the bizarre business schemes of Nathan for You to the mind-melting experiments of The Rehearsal, Nathan Fielder has always had a knack for interrogating the “reality” behind reality television. Now, he teams up with Benny Safide — co-director of nail-biting films like Uncut Gems and Good Time — to continue breaking our brains with the new scripted series, The Curse.

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Starring Emma Stone, Fielder, and Safdie, and produced by A24 and Showtime, The Curse defies easy categorization. It’s the perfect storm of wince-worthy comedy, HGTV spoof, and surreal (and possibly supernatural?) drama, with plenty of commentary on everything from race to social media thrown in for good measure. As tough as it can be to watch at times — I dare you to go five minutes without cringing — there’s no doubt that The Curse is one of the funniest, strangest, and most unsettling shows of the year.

What is The Curse about?

A man and woman are interviewed by a news crew.

Nathan Fielder, Emma Stone, and Tessa Mentus in “The Curse.”
Credit: Richard Foreman Jr. / A24 / Paramount+ with Showtime

Stone and Fielder play Whitney and Asher Siegel, a married couple at the center of an upcoming HGTV show awkwardly titled Flipanthropy. (Say it three times fast.) Their goal is to build eco-friendly homes in the city of Española, New Mexico, and “revitalize” the community by bringing in upscale coffee chains and jeans stores. It’s textbook gentrification, but Whitney and Asher want to distance themselves from that label. In Whitney’s perfect world, these new businesses will only employ locals, everyone will buy her passive homes, and she and Asher can subsidize any higher rent Española’s current residents may face. “Everybody’s a winner,” Asher tells a local reporter (Tessa Mentus) when she brings up the dreaded “G word.”

Of course, Asher’s blithe statement couldn’t be farther from the truth. The new businesses are more a front for Flipanthropy than they are new staples in Española, and Whitney’s plan to subsidize rent is just a Band-Aid lazily slapped on America’s much bigger issues. Then there are the passive homes themselves, with their garish mirrored facades that Whitney proudly says, “reflect the community.” If anything, the constant reflection is more of a visual nuisance for Asher and Whitney’s neighbors. It doesn’t help that the deceptive mirrors lead to the deaths of birds who fly smack dab into the walls. When bird corpses are a common occurrence around your house, maybe it’s time to rethink whether it’s as environmentally friendly as you claim it is.

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Capturing Whitney and Asher’s so-called service work on camera is their producer Dougie Schechter (Safdie). He’ll try anything to make the show as entertaining as possible, no matter the ethics. Take the very first scene, which sees him pouring water on a woman’s face to create the illusion of a tearful response. It’s just one of many exploitative tricks he’ll use on his subjects in order to shape a new reality for the camera. Whitney and Asher are initially put off by these methods, unable to see that they, too, are exploiting the residents of Española.

One of Dougie’s filming plans leads us to The Curse‘s titular malediction. When he sees a young girl named Nala (Dahabo Ahmed) selling sodas in a parking lot, Dougie tells Asher to give her some money, thinking it’ll make good B-roll for the show. Asher hands her the only cash he has on him — a $100 bill — and immediately tries to take it back once they’ve stopped filming. Nala, understandably upset by this turn of events, proceeds to fix her gaze on Asher and deliver three fateful words: “I curse you.”

From there on out, things are… off with Asher, Whitney, and the production. There’s conflict with potential home buyers, complications with Asher and Whitney’s plans to conceive, and even discord in their marriage. Are all these bumps in the road Nala and the curse’s doing? Or were these problems always there, and did Asher and Whitney only start to notice them with the threat of a curse hanging over their heads? (Notably, the two also argue about whether it’s racist to assume Nala is even capable of cursing them.)

The Curse skewers reality TV with surreal stylings and a tinge of horror.

A camera crew discusses how to film something in a parking lot.

D.J. Arvizo, Nathan Fielder, Benny Safdie, and Oscar Avila in “The Curse.”
Credit: Richard Foreman Jr. / A24 / Paramount+ with Showtime

The Curse plays with just how real Nala’s curse is over the course of its 10 episodes. Strange events on the set of Flipanthropy are commonplace, yet they could just as easily be attributed to human error as to magic. However, The Curse doesn’t rule out the supernatural outright. Horror-adjacent imagery appears throughout, from the dead birds to long shots tracking characters’ movements that would be right at home in a slasher. Discussions of troubled pregnancy invoke the subgenre of motherhood horror, and composer John Medeski (working with music producer and frequent Safdie collaborator Daniel Lopatin) crafts a soundscape that wrings unease out of even the most mundane moments.

The ambiguity of the curse plays into the show’s larger fascination with how we engineer and interact with false narratives. Reality TV serves as the prime source of artifice here, with Asher and especially Whitney crafting how their marriage and their work comes across onscreen. If enough people believe the fantasy they’re being sold, does that make it true? And if you spend your relationship living for the camera, how can you tell what’s real or not?

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To further hammer home these ideas of warped reality, The Curse makes liberal use of mirror shots and distorted mirror imagery. It pairs these with shots of conversations framed in windows or doorways, or filmed from a great distance, lending the show a voyeuristic quality. What are we truly meant to be seeing?

The Curse‘s main characters will make you cringe and laugh (but mostly cringe).

A woman in a white T-shirt and green bucket hat walks in front of a mirrored house.

Emma Stone in “The Curse.”
Credit: Richard Foreman Jr. / A24 / Paramount+ with Showtime

The Curse‘s preoccupation with artifice manifests itself most in Whitney. She cares so much about her self-image that she forces Asher to recreate their cutest moments beat-for-beat for her Instagram followers. Her activism is a facade as well — although she may not be self-aware enough to realize that. She fervently claims to support Española’s residents, including the Pueblo people of New Mexico. However, she frequently uses and tokenizes the Native Americans she meets, like her artist friend Cara Durand (Nizhonniya Luxi Austin). In a show full of moments that make you want to crawl out of your skin, Whitney’s interactions with Cara are among the most horrifying.

Asher is no stranger to fantasy either, with The Curse relishing unpicking his self-imposed ideas of masculinity. Between jokes about penis size and being called Whitney’s “jester” instead of her “king,” Asher goes through the humiliation gauntlet with a brave face that is always seconds from slipping. Then there’s Dougie, whose sleazy producer persona masks a deeper sadness and some wildly unhealthy coping mechanisms.

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With these three characters and their conflicting senses of self firmly in place, The Curse simmers with an at-times unbearable awkwardness. Will you feel a combination of embarrassment and disgust toward Whitney, Asher, and Dougie’s actions? Yes. Will you occasionally recognize yourself in them? Horrifyingly, also yes. When broader moments of comedy arise — like the aforementioned penis jokes — they come as a welcome, tension-breaking relief. Yet The Curse refuses to let you get comfortable for long. Often, these laugh-out-loud jokes will resurface down the line in an even more squirm-worthy scene, as if The Curse is wielding your own prior comfort against you.

Emma Stone, Nathan Fielder, and Benny Safdie make for an excellent trio in The Curse.

A man and woman sit on a white couch, while another man stands up and shows them something on TV.

Emma Stone, Nathan Fielder, and Benny Safdie in “The Curse.”
Credit: Richard Foreman Jr. / A24 / Paramount+ with Showtime

The Curse wouldn’t work half as well as it does without the total commitment of Stone, Fielder, and Safdie, who make for an unlikely (but well-matched) supergroup. Stone has already proven her comedic chops ten times over with films like Easy A and The Favourite, but The Curse may be her funniest turn yet. Whitney’s eco-influencer jargon is gold in Stone’s hands, but she blends it with a discomfiting sense of artificiality completely in sync with the tone Fielder and Safdie have created. It’s pitch-perfect work, and when paired with the release of Poor Things, it helps mark a banner year for Stone.

In a departure from shows like Nathan for You and The Rehearsal, Fielder is not playing a version of himself but rather an entirely new character. Still, you’ll recognize elements of his prior performances in Asher’s awkward deadpan. He’s a total punching bag for the show, with Flipanthropy focus groups wondering why Whitney would even marry him. That disbelief makes it all the funnier — and uncomfortable, naturally — when Asher inevitably loses his cool. Prepare yourself for some angry, desperate rants from Fielder that will leave you speechless, and some especially inspired physical comedy in later episodes.

As Dougie, Safdie is slippery and scummy, the ideal contrast to Whitney’s earnest(ish) idealism. While shooting Flipanthropy, he reads as a dirtbag Machiavellian schemer looking to get the perfect shot — even at the expense of people like Asher. But in his personal life, he’s a flailing mess. Here, Safdie must shoulder some of The Curse‘s most painful revelations, resulting in tragi-comic scenes like a first date gone off the rails.

These three off-the-wall performances combine with The Curse‘s ambitious genre-bending to make for one of 2023’s most original TV series yet. It’s densely layered with bizarro comedy, bold set pieces, and pertinent social criticism. Yes, Asher, Whitney, and Dougie’s convictions may be hollow, but The Curse is filled to the brim with things to say — and some absolutely wild ways to say them.

The Curse premieres on Paramount+ with Showtime on Nov. 10.

Tech / Technology

AdultFriendFinder review November 2023: This X-rated hookup site is stuck in the past

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Discover the pros and cons of AdultFriendFinder, a sex-focused adult dating site catering to casual encounters and exploration.
illustration of two people under the covers in bed with clothes strewn around the room

Moving to a new city or working at a new job where you don’t know anybody can seriously be depressing, especially if you’re already introverted as it is. What are you supposed to do? Sit at the bar by yourself? And talk to strangers?

Then comes the lightbulb idea: You can make friends online! If online dating is so popular and successful, there’s no way there aren’t a few legit sites where you can make adult friends in your area with similar interests. Hmm, AdultFriendFinder.com sounds like the right ballpark.

So you’re on your lunch break at work, type in the URL, and the next thing you know, you’re frantically closing the tab and hoping nobody walked behind you for that split second.

Our point: AdultFriendFinder is not what it sounds like.

Adult friend finder homepage


Credit: Screenshot: AdultFriendFinder

What is AdultFriendFinder?

AdultFriendFinder is one of the most well-known sites for finding quick sexual encounters, regular hookups, and literally anything else even remotely related to sex. The rowdy feed of matches, jumble of explicit photos, and stimulating calls-to-action offering all types of sex makes it heaven for anyone looking for a good time with no filter — and hell for someone who wouldn’t be caught dead clicking on a “There are hot singles in your area” ad.

Even if you’re not using it for real sex, it’s always nice to have spank bank material in your back pocket. During the early days of the coronavirus pandemic, sexting, nudes, and Pornhub searches all saw a spike thanks to the vast number of people who started social distancing at home. Those who didn’t want to risk quarantine sex or weren’t finding people on their level of horniness on Tinder were pretty much guaranteed to get their rocks off somehow via AdultFriendFinder.

On AFF, you can find someone to sext via messaging or video chat (and plan to get it on IRL, if that’s what you’re looking for), watch live streams, or join niche group chat rooms. Is it worth $20-something per month? Depends on how much fishy content you’re willing to overlook for a juicy sexting session.

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We reached out to Kalyn Sanders, a business development executive at Friend Finder Networks, for updated AFF demographics. Right up there with Tinder’s monthly flock, AdultFriendFinder snags the attention of over 55 million visits around the world per month, on average. (To whet your appetite upon signup, the main landing page flashes a few statistics, including “98,897,765 hot photos” and “3,375,049 connections,” but we’re not exactly sure what that means.) Most traffic originates from the United States, followed by visitors from the United Kingdom and Canada. SimilarWeb ranks the site as the 19th most-visited adult site in the U.S.

Specifics on the demographic that most people care about — the gender ratio — can be hard to track down. Sanders told us that “there’s a two to one ratio of single men versus categories like single women, couples, and groups.” The split between men and women is an expected one for a lot of hookup-centric sites. At the end of the day, it’s a paradise for straight men, hit-or-miss for straight women and LGBTQ men, and likely an actual hellscape for LGBTQ women.

AFF lets you identify as and search for a man, woman, a couple, or trans. Despite trying to be a sex-positive site with blog posts, groups, a sex academy, and more, its language for the LGBTQ community has historically been anything but inclusive or positive. Previously, the AFF sign-up page listed “TG/TV/TS” as the “trans” gender selection — we’ll let you infer what those stand for. Though, we will admit, this language has improved recently with more gender options that are appropriately labeled.

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Is AdultFriendFinder worth it?

If you’re 100 percent over being grilled with relationship questions and the slow-and-steady pace on traditional dating sites like eharmony or Match, AdultFriendFinder is your golden ticket to instant communication. Registering takes literally 30 seconds — it requires nothing from you aside from an email address, a username, a password, and an introduction. Your notifications will start pouring in even without adding any juicy info (because people see nothing wrong with hitting up a profile with a gray silhouette as a profile photo, apparently), but it’s probably best to add a few photos and a detailed description — both to up your chances of flirtation or finding someone who shares a super-specific fantasy, and also to signal to other users that you’re not a bot.

AFF personality test

AdultFriendFinder features a personality questionnaire to personalize your profile and up your chances of finding a compatible match.
Credit: Screenshot: AdultFriendFinder

After registering, there are a ton of ways to personalize your account (way more than you’d expect for a hookup site, honestly). The more you fill out, the more attractive your profile will be to new viewers. There are the basic physical appearance questions about eye and hair color, and since I identified as a woman, cup size was an option. (If you identify as a man, I’m sure you can guess what question they ask.)

Many self-proclaimed hookup seekers can probably admit that they’d still like to hook up with someone they’d also like to grab a beer with, especially if they plan to see that person multiple times. Those people will appreciate that AFF gives a compatibility score with each user you come across: a metric that rates how well you might mesh with someone in the bedroom based on how you answered questions about what turns you on, whether you’re dominant or submissive, and so on.

The site also features a personality test and a “My Kinks” form where you can select whether or not you’re “curious about, into, or can’t live without” a certain kink (e.g., anal, bondage, role play, etc.). It also lets you choose whether you’re a voyeur, the giver, or the receiver.

One weird thing about the Personality Type test is that it asks several questions about whether or not you enjoy shopping at discount stores — not really sure what that’s about. It also asks whether or not “a quiet time for prayer should be allowed in school.” You can choose “strongly disagree, somewhat disagree, somewhat agree, or strongly agree.”

Once you finish the personality test (20 questions), you can opt to have your Personality Type show up on your profile or have it hidden. It will also show you which personality types complement yours.

AFF personality type


Credit: Screenshot: AdultFriendFinder

Finding a match

Like a traditional dating site, AdultFriendFinder gives you a collage of potential matches and will let you know who’s online or close distance-wise. These will be random right after you sign up, but you can opt to update your preferences to refine your results: Choose your preferred gender(s), age range, location and mile radius, race, sexual orientation, body type, and marital status.

You barely have to scroll before noticing that there’s no shortage of nudity. Depending on whether you set your preferences to men, women, or both, you’ll see all of that stuff up close, personal, swinging around, in action. You name it, it’ll pop up.

AdultFriendFinder is basically like a PornHub that you can interact with. We probably don’t have to say this, but AdultFriendFinder is NSFW and not safe to be on while kids are in the room. If you’d rather not see the site’s raunchier side, it offers a “no nudity” option, but I still wouldn’t trust this filter enough to be online in a family setting or at work. Some videos will be blurred out and read “Naughty video” until you upgrade to a Gold Membership, but trust me — you’ll get to see a lot, even with the free version.

The message section is set up similarly to a Gmail account, and you can mark things as read or important just as you would on a real email. You’ll receive some crude messages instantly (creeps on Tinder do the same thing), but some will be genuinely friendly.

It’s not all bad

Once you get past the in-your-face sexplosion of naked profile pictures, horny AIM-era profile names, and explicit videos, there are actually an impressive number of resources to help make your experience as satisfying as possible. Some will cost money even outside of the paid subscription, which is kind of dumb.

Aside from the NSFW content, the website is relatively straightforward (albeit ugly). Every feature is advertised in big letters, notifications are displayed clearly with labels, and you don’t really have to click around to find anything. This makes it super accessible for users of all ages, even those who aren’t tech-savvy and can’t even figure out Facebook. Buttons are all over the place, but you figure it out after messing around for a few minutes.

Activities range from direct messaging, sending virtual gifts and tips, watching live videos of people in your feed, joining adult chat rooms that can get very niche, or entering photo contests.


AdultFriendFinder is like a PornHub that you can interact with.

Think of AdultFriendFinder as the dating site version of New York City — it never sleeps. You’ll find people who work the regular 9 to 5, people who work the night shift, and people in other time zones, so it’s nearly impossible to log on and not have people to talk to. You know, like that booty call who’s always awake when you text them.

Or at least that used to be the case… 10 years ago. What was once a hot site that a few Reddit users were quick to hype up is now one of the dating sites that Reddit users can’t help but diss — in the few instances that AFF is even being discussed at all. It’s notable that, on a site where online dating is such a mammoth topic of discussion, AdultFriendFinder has rarely been mentioned in a positive light since the early 2010s. The Reddit community is diverse and open-minded; if a dating site exists, someone on Reddit has used it and has an opinion. When an innocent soul does ask if it’s legit, AFF usually gets dragged for sketchy pricing and being riddled with bots.

However, some Reddit members have praised AFF as a site for men meeting men. Even so, the site’s still buggy and isn’t exactly great for meeting real people who aren’t, as one Reddit user so eloquently put it, “busted and unstable.”

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Paid memberships are where things get… interesting

You can do a decent amount of exploring without paying a cent: Limited messaging and emailing, visit and like most profiles, and enter some chat rooms. But just a few clicks on AdultFriendFinder can send you deep down the rabbit hole, and a lot of that juicier hidden content can only be unlocked with a paid membership (called the Gold membership) or by earning points.

Points are AdultFriendFinder’s non-monetary currency. If you’re a free member, you’ll have to earn points through on-site activity to unlock stuff that’s exclusive to paying members. It’s kind of like a game, with points acting like dollar bills at the strip club.

A Gold membership is pretty much the standard if you’re a guy looking for girls. While researching on Reddit, we found a few women who said they wouldn’t meet a guy unless he’s a Gold member. A Gold membership puts a little bit more credibility behind someone’s profile and makes the whole encounter feel a bit safer. It’s easier to believe that someone’s a real person if they’re a paying, active member of the site, and it’s nice to know that they’re taking it slightly seriously. Plus, if you see a picture or profile that looks like it’s 10 years old, it really might be — there are a ton of non-active, non-paying profiles from old members and escorts still lingering.

AdultFriendFinder also gives members the option to confirm their identity with ConfirmID. If you do this, the site promises to give you two weeks of Gold for free. The ConfirmID works by entering your legal first and last name, home address, gender, and date of birth and uploading a copy of your driver’s license, passport, or other government-issued ID.

If you spend more quality time on the site than expected, becoming a paid member is definitely something to consider. Once you’re paying, you basically become royalty on the site: Your profile will appear way higher in searches, you can use the most advanced searches, unlock profiles with private photo albums, check out video profiles, and message to your heart’s content. A general rule is that increased involvement and payment on your end generally equals more success on the website, as your constant activity and heightened searchability make it easier for others to find you.

Prices for a Gold membership fluctuate but generally get cheaper the longer your subscription is: Get one month for $27.95, three months for $20.95 per month, or 12 months for $14.95 per month. The three-month membership is billed quarterly, while the 12-month membership is billed annually. With a Gold membership, free members cannot contact you, but they can still see your profile.

You can also purchase profile highlights designed to make your profile stand out. They’re $9.95 per month or $8.95 per month for a three-month run (billed quarterly). Although it’s not super clear how these highlights work, the site promises your profile will “get noticed first in search and browse results” and that your emails will appear highlighted. It also notes that highlights are “colorful and attention-grabbing.”

Adultfriendfinder profile highlights


Credit: Screenshot: AdultFriendFinder

Good for: Very open-minded people looking to blow off steam

Stating the obvious, AdultFriendFinder is a space for people who want to bang with no strings attached, people who are in a sexual rut, people who are tired of porn, and people who find sites like eharmony boring. Getting to know someone for weeks before meeting up can be exhausting, and sometimes, you want to skip the small talk and do the dirty with a random. It’s gonna get kinky out there, and that’s great for those who are dying to blow off steam and want someone who will respond well to a brusque, sexy message.

People are so active on this site that it’s impossible not to feel desired. You’ll probably get a flood of message notifications, and once you come across your first legit suitor, you’ll start to loosen up. Even if you’re left on read a few times, you’ll learn which opening lines and flirty comments work and which don’t. But since the site is aimed toward casual sex and encounters and not serious relationships, the whole rejection thing isn’t nearly as prevalent.

As with all dating sites, catfishing is a big buzzkill. Your chances of being pursued are way higher if you have a lot of pictures of the same person (AKA you), videos, and a genuine profile that lets people know they’re not dealing with something sketchy. Even if you’ve had bad luck with online dating in the past, AdultFriendFinder is the place to be honest.

Bad for: People looking for a real relationship and the entire socially-conscious community

You know those warnings that thrill rides at amusement parks are required to put up that tell people who get dizzy easily or have heart problems to not get on the ride? AdultFriendFinder could use something like that. This site is not for the faint of heart — if you’re a cynic, conservative by any means, get sketched out easily, or aren’t a fan of dick pics, you’ll probably hate it. Similarly, if you appreciate a well-crafted, aesthetically-pleasing website that feels safe — no matter how badly you want to have sex — one glance at the landing page likely signals that it’s not for you.

AdultFriendFinder is not the place to be if you’re trying to make friends unless “with benefits” is tacked onto the end. Every inch of the site screams “this website is used to have sex,” and you should really listen to that.

As illustrated by the recent flood of artsy activism guides on Instagram, it’s clear what content appeals to young people on the internet: Something aesthetically-pleasing, sharable, and digestible. The “sharable” part doesn’t totally apply to online dating, but apps like Hinge and OkCupid closely follow this design trend by limiting the number of words (and ads) in each tab, steering clear of endless scrolling, and ensuring that important info isn’t cluttered with flashing clickbait.

For instance, Pure is a modern, no-strings-attached hookup app that appeals to your horny side with a single, witty statement about sex rather than bombarding you with boobs and “Have sex in NYC now!” claims. Anyone older than a millennial may be totally used to this pop-up-ridden layout, which seemed to be popular in the early 2000s — but for younger folks, AFF’s chaotic approach is way too reminiscent of Omegle.

AFF could do so much more to make people take it seriously

The entire website looks like an ad about hot MILFs that pops up when you’re illegally streaming a movie. Seriously, it’s bad. Even though the website is technically legit, the pictures, word choice, and exclamation points everywhere scream “scam.” No, AdultFriendFinder, “98,897,765 Hot Photos” is not the way to make potential new users trust you.

We’re not knocking a quick hookup or no-strings-attached relations. This isn’t about morals. Genitals are quite literally in your face from the moment you make an account, and that’s just not cute. There are chiller ways to go about insinuating that this is a hookup website without feeling like you’re trapped in a sex dungeon with strangers.

I could not get past the fact that the entire site looks like it’s about to invite five viruses to your computer. We’re talking terrible graphics that look like they were made on Microsoft Paint and pictures of women who look like they’re from Pornhub in 2007. (That’s when AdultFriendFinder was officially sold and rebranded from its original parent company.) Reddit user Snoo53279 summed it up in a comment from July 2020: “The people on AFF are definitely real, but there is a huge smattering of bots that also get in the way so it can be a bit of a PITA to use.” If they’re not bots, they could be men posing as a couple to seem less threatening.

The parade of women on the landing page is questionable for two reasons. This shouldn’t even need to be clarified, but not everyone is looking for a woman. At the least, the advertising isn’t inclusive — but this crosses into fetishization territory. The cherry on top is that the women in the photos (unsurprisingly) probably aren’t even members of the site, according to a disclaimer at the bottom of the landing page.

AdultFriendFinder’s overall outdated vibe goes past an aesthetic annoyance — it’s downright problematic at times. The lack of inclusivity for the LGBTQ+ community is nearly unforgivable, and we’d be scared to see some of the related rhetoric that AFF users feel comfortable spewing. Without even a dash of social awareness, it’s hard to see how anyone who’s not an out-of-touch straight cis man would feel comfortable on this site.

Attempting to navigate the shoddy design might be enough to smother your horniness. Three main issues can make the site borderline unusable: It looks shady as hell, an alarming portion of the user base is made up of bots and spam accounts, and the user interface itself is outdated and rife with bugs.

Other Reddit users mention that the desktop web version won’t even load for them at random times — an especially frustrating roadblock for people who want to end their membership and stop monthly charges. A solution to the laggy web version might be to clear your cache or use the smartphone app, but your experience probably won’t improve. AFF’s mobile page doesn’t even mention an Android app, and the link to the iPhone app brings up a “not available” pop-up in the App Store. For a site that claims to have over 50 million visitors each month, the lack of accessibility to a smartphone app is just plain odd — especially in 2023.

Adding to the sketchiness, a network hack in 2016 exposed around 412 million accounts, including “deleted” accounts that weren’t actually deleted from the database. If this is enough reason for you to fall back on Tinder for finding a friend with benefits, we don’t blame you. Signing up with a burner email and avoiding using your real name as a username are wise moves (pick a naughty word and add 69 to the end, IDK), though keeping your personal information private is hard when credit cards are involved.

In 2007, AFF was involved in a lawsuit with the FTC over allegations that the site used malware to send explicit pop-up ads to computers owned by people who hadn’t signed up for the service. Though we haven’t seen reports like this recently, so we’re hoping those ridiculous ads you see are at least confined to people who actually use the site.

The alternatives

Surprisingly, AdultFriendFinder feels much more legit than its competitors. While other hookup sites have names like FreeSnapMilfs.com, Fuckswipe.com, and Instabang.com, AdultFriendFinder will be the one you’d hate showing up in your Google search history the least. Most have the same general idea: to find sexual partners, have cybersex, etc., but with names like those, the authenticity is way too questionable. AdultFriendFinder boasts a much larger audience and has built credibility in a Tinder-saturated market where these blunt, friskier competitors may have trouble gaining trust.

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No matter how in the mood you are, your hungry eyes may not be able to look past AFF’s heinous interface. We mentioned Pure earlier. The aesthetically pleasing, hella-millennial UX design is simply more palatable than AFF and the blueprint of what a modern hookup app should be. Kind of like a Snapchat for sex; your uploaded selfies, personal info, and conversations will self-destruct every 60 minutes. The app will send the hookup version of an Uber request to anyone close and ready to rumble, and you can choose what information to disclose from there.

Remember when we said AdultFriendFinder would be a nightmare for gay and bi women? If you want an alternative, Feeld is an inclusive, very modern app dedicated to singles and couples looking for threesomes, foursomes, or however many people you want — minus the unicorn hunting and rampant fetishization that many non-hetero, non-monogamous people face on traditional hookup sites and apps.

The final verdict

AdultFriendFinder is a low-pressure way to find a friends-with-benefits situation without insulting anyone. Everyone is pretty much there for the same reason — and though it’ll feel pretty unorthodox if you’ve only ever used Tinder to scope this type of thing out, AFF’s blunt advertising at least means you won’t have to explain that you’re not looking for a relationship. It’s niche-friendly, well-populated, and has a ton of interactive outlets to indulge your primal urges.

But that freedom comes with a price — the price is feeling like one of those people who fall for the ads that pop up before a free Pornhub video. It’s not that a site dedicated to sex and sexting is inherently scammy — it’s that AdultFriendFinder drowns you with explicit photos on profiles that might not even be real people while asking you to pay for a subscription with every click.

Unfortunately, no matter how in the mood you are, some people aren’t cut out for the nothing-left-to-the-imagination approach with grammar mistakes all over the place. It wants to be sex-positive so badly, but the language the site has used in reference to the trans community is the furthest thing from that.

The functionality and safety of the site and the mobile app aren’t where they need to be in 2023. If security measures were tightened, graphics and photos were cleaned up to feel more relevant, and decision-makers behind the scenes were given a lesson in inclusivity and pronouns/identities, AdultFriendFinder could be a handy tool to find attachment-free hookups and connect with a community that’s down for anything.

This isn’t a dating or hookup site we would personally use, but if you’re feeling brave, you can register for AdultFriendFinder here. Just don’t try this at work.


AdultFriendFinder logo

Credit: AdultFriendFinder


AdultFriendFinder

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Tech / Technology

AdultFriendFinder review 2023: Best hookup site for sex (UK)

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AdultFriendFinder is a borderline-porn hookup site that’s stuck in the past. That’s not necessarily a bad thing.
Phone in hand

This content originally appeared on Mashable for a US audience and has been adapted for the UK audience.

Moving to a new area or working at a new job where you don’t know anybody can be seriously depressing, especially if you’re already introverted as it is. What are you supposed to do? Go sit at the bar by yourself? And talk to strangers? No thanks.

Then comes the lightbulb idea: You can make friends online. If online dating is so popular and successful, there’s no way that there aren’t a few legit sites where you can make adult friends in your area with similar interests. After a quick search, AdultFriendFinder sounds like a good place to start.

So you’re on your lunch break at work, type in the URL, and the next thing you know, you’re frantically closing the tab and hoping nobody walked behind you for that split second. AdultFriendFinder is not what it sounds like.

What is AdultFriendFinder?

AdultFriendFinder is one of the most well-known sites for finding quick sexual encounters, regular hookups, and literally anything else even remotely related to sex. The rowdy feed of matches, jumble of explicit photos, and stimulating calls-to-action offering all types of sex makes it heaven for anyone looking for a good time with no filter — and hell for someone who wouldn’t be caught dead clicking on a “There are hot singles in your area” ad.

Even if you’re not using it for real sex, it’s always nice to have spank bank material in your back pocket. During the early days of the coronavirus pandemic, sexting, nudes, and Pornhub searches all saw a spike thanks to the vast number of people who started social distancing at home. Those who didn’t want to risk quarantine sex or weren’t finding people on their level of horniness on Tinder were pretty much guaranteed to get their rocks off somehow via AdultFriendFinder.

On AFF, you can find someone to sext via messaging or video (and plan to get it on IRL, if that’s what you’re looking for), watch live streams, or join niche group chats. Is it worth £15-something per month? Depends on how much fishy content you’re willing to overlook for a juicy sexting session.

We reached out to Kalyn Sanders, a business development executive at Friend Finder Networks, for updated AFF demographics. Right up there with Tinder’s monthly flock, AdultFriendFinder snags the attention of over 55 million visits around the world per month, on average. To whet your appetite upon signup, the main landing page flashes a few statistics, including “98,897,765 hot photos” and “3,375,049 connections,” but we’re not exactly sure what that means. Most traffic originates from the United States, followed by visitors from the United Kingdom and Canada.

Specifics on the demographic that most people care about — the gender ratio — can be hard to track down. Sanders told us that “there’s a two to one ratio of single men versus categories like single women, couples, and groups.” The split between men and women is an expected one for a lot of hookup-centric sites. At the end of the day, it’s a paradise for straight men, hit-or-miss for straight women and LGBTQ men, and likely an actual hellscape for LGBTQ women.

AFF lets you identify as and search for a man, woman, a couple, or trans. Despite trying to be a sex-positive site with blog posts, groups, a sex academy, and more, its language for the LGBTQ community has historically been anything but inclusive or positive. Previously, the AFF sign-up page listed “TG/TV/TS” as the “trans” gender selection — we’ll let you infer what those stand for. Though, we will admit, this language has improved recently with more gender options that are appropriately labeled.

Can you find a serious relationship on AdultFriendFinder?

If you’re 100% over being grilled with relationship questions on traditional dating sites like EliteSingles and eharmony, AdultFriendFinder is your golden ticket to instant communication. Registering takes literally 30 seconds — they require nothing from you aside from an email address, a username, a password, and an introduction. Though they don’t require a bio or a picture, it’s probably best to add a few to up your chances for messages and flirtation, especially if you’re looking for something super specific, as you’re more likely to be contacted by people looking for the same thing.

After you register, you’ll see that there are loads of options to completely personalise your account (way more than we expected from a hookup site, to be honest). The more you fill out, the more attractive your profile will be to new viewers. There are the basic physical appearance questions about eye and hair colour, plus more intimate details.

There’s also a personality test that seemed pretty close to something you’d see on Match or eharmony, and we guess it’s comforting to know that some people on here care about what’s on the inside as well.

One of the funniest forms was the “Purity Test,” featuring 100 hilariously-worded questions about how far you’re willing to go sexually. It felt like the sexy 20 questions game that you’d play with your middle school crush when neither of you knew how to flirt, but we guess this information is pertinent when you’re on a site that’s all about sex.

There’s no real matching strategy other than the basic info on physical appearances, so don’t get your hopes up when it comes to finding a lasting connection or kindred soul — but hey, if you’re on the site for the same reasons most other people are, that stuff won’t really matter anyway.

How do you match on AdultFriendFinder?

Like a traditional dating site, AdultFriendFinderAdultFriendFinder gives you a collage of potential matches at the top of your personal home page. These will be random right after you sign up, but you can opt to update your preferences to refine your results: Choose your preferred gender(s), age range, location and mile radius, race, sexual orientation, body type, and marital status. They’ll let you know who’s online when you are, which matches are closest to you, new people who liked or messaged you, and all of that good stuff.

AdultFriendFinder is basically like a PornHub that you can interact with. We probably don’t have to say this, but AdultFriendFinder is NSFW and not safe to be on while kids are in the room. Some videos will be blurred out and read “Naughty video” until you upgrade to a Gold Membership.

The message section is set up similarly to a Gmail account, and you can mark things as read or important just as you would on a real email. How professional. You’ll also receive messages instantly, which is definitely a confidence boost even though you know they’re probably just looking for one thing.

You can tell who took the time to look at your profile and who is sending the same thing to everyone, but it’s nice to see that there is a range. Unlike more traditional dating sites, these people don’t need to talk and get to know you for months before meeting. If you’re tired of things moving too slowly or need a change of pace, it’s pretty awesome to know you can immediately make plans for each night of the week.

What does AdultFriendFinder do well?

Once you get past the in-your-face sexplosion of naked profile pictures, horny AIM-era profile names, and explicit videos, there are actually an impressive number of resources to help make your experience as satisfying as possible. Some will cost money even outside of the paid subscription, which is kinda dumb.

Aside from the NSFW content, the website is relatively straightforward (albeit ugly). Every feature is advertised in big letters, notifications are displayed clearly with labels, and you don’t really have to click around to find anything. This makes it super accessible for users of all ages, even those who aren’t tech-savvy and can’t even figure out Facebook. Buttons are all over the place, but you figure it out after messing around for a few minutes.

Activities range from direct messaging, sending virtual gifts, watching live videos of people in your feed, joining adult chat rooms that can get very niche, or entering photo contests.

Think of AdultFriendFinder as the dating site version of New York City — it never sleeps. You’ll find people who work the regular 9-5, people who work the night shift, and people in other time zones, so it’s nearly impossible to log on and not have a lot of people to talk to. You know, like that booty call who’s always awake when you text them.

Or at least that used to be the case… 10 years ago. What was once a hot site that a few Reddit users were quick to hype up is now one of the dating sites that Reddit users can’t help but diss — in the few instances that AFF is even being discussed at all. The Reddit community is diverse and open-minded, and if a dating site exists, someone on Reddit has used it and has an opinion on it. It’s notable that, on a site where online dating is such a mammoth topic of discussion, that AdultFriendFinder has rarely been mentioned since the early 2010s. When an innocent soul does ask if it’s legit, AFF usually gets dragged for sketchy pricing and being ridden with bots.

Is AdultFriendFinder available for free?

As previously mentioned, you can do a lot on the site without paying a penny: You can message people, reply to emails, and visit most profiles and chat rooms. You know, all of the basic stuff. But with just a few clicks AdultFriendFinder can send you deep down the rabbit hole, and a lot of that juicier hidden content can only be unlocked with a paid membership (called the Gold membership) or by earning points.

Points are AdultFriendFinder’s non-monetary currency. If you’re a free member, you’ll have to earn points through on-site activity to unlock stuff that’s exclusive to paying members. It’s kind of like a game, with points acting like money at the strip club. You can “tip” updates, photos, or videos from a member that you like, buy “bling” (which is basically a badge that makes you look cooler), watch racy videos that are usually blurred out or access other exclusive site content, or “buy” a Gold membership for a month. The more points you have, the more you get out of the site.

But all of that stuff takes a really long time, and is honestly just a hassle. If you want access to all those features, just pay for a Gold membership and upgrade.

If you’re a guy looking for girls, we might suggest getting a Gold membership as the standard. While researching on Reddit, we found a few girls who said they won’t meet a guy unless he’s a Gold member. A Gold membership puts a little bit more credibility behind someone’s profile and makes the entire encounter a little less threatening. It’s easier to believe that someone’s a real person if they’re a paying, active member of the site, and it’s nice to know that they’re taking it slightly seriously. Plus, if you see a picture or profile that looks like it’s five years old, it really might be — there are a ton of non-active profiles from old members and escorts still lingering on the site.

If you find yourself spending more quality time on the site than you expected, becoming a paid member is definitely something to consider. Once you’re paying, you basically become royalty on the site: Your profile will appear way higher in searches, you can use the most advanced searches, and you can read emails and message to your heart’s content (messages and emails are limited with a free account).

A Gold membership can unlock everything that the site has to offer, including unlimited messaging, profiles with private photo albums, and video profiles that are only available for Gold members as well. A general rule is that increased involvement and payment on your end generally equals more success on the website, as your constant activity and heightened search-ability makes it way easier for others to find you. Plus, you’ll just get bored with the free features after a while.

Like every other dating site, prices for a Gold membership get cheaper the longer your subscription is: one month is £25.08/month, three months is £16.71/month, and one year is £11.27/month.

Who should try AdultFriendFinder?

This is pretty obvious, but AdultFriendFinder is ace for people who want a quick hookup, people who are in a sexual rut, people who are tired of porn, and people who find sites like eharmony to be lame. Those long compatibility tests can be exhausting, and sometimes you just wanna skip the small talk and have sex. It’s gonna get kinky out there, and that’s great for those who are dying to blow off steam and are in need of someone who will respond well to a sexy message. It also might be a good place for people who are freshly out of a breakup and in need of attention.

Did we mention it’s also a huge confidence boost? People are so active on this site, it’s impossible not to feel adored. Just seeing the notifications of users wanting to talk to you will make your heart flutter, and you’ll start to loosen up. Even if you’re rejected a few times, you’ll learn which opening lines and flirty comments work and which don’t, making you a smoother operator.

AdultFriendFinder‘s pro-sex, judgment-free environment means it’s open to everyone and highly inclusive, no matter your gender identity or sexual orientation. The variety of people on this thing is so massive that it’s nearly impossible to not to meet someone.

As with all dating sites, catfishing is a big buzzkill. Your chances of being pursued are way higher if you have a lot of pictures of the same person (AKA you), videos, and a genuine profile that lets people know they’re not dealing with something sketchy. Even if you’ve had bad luck with online dating in the past, AdultFriendFinder is the place to 100% be yourself.

The site may look like an ad for a strip club, but don’t judge a dating site by its cover. If you’re willing to look past the questionable design choices, AdultFriendFinder can seriously expand your sexual horizons and introduce you to individuals you never would have met otherwise.

Who should avoid AdultFriendFinder?

You know those warnings that thrill rides at amusement parks are required to put up that tell people who get dizzy easily or have heart problems to not get on the ride? AdultFriendFinder could use something like that. This site is not for the faint of heart — if you’re a cynic, conservative by any means, or get sketched out easily, you’re probably going to hate it. If you appreciate a well-crafted, aesthetically pleasing website that feels safe — no matter how badly you want to have sex — then this dating site is probably not for you. Nothing is left to the imagination here, and it’s definitely not going to be everyone’s cup of tea. You have got to be open minded.

AdultFriendFinder is not the place to be if you’re trying to make friends, unless “with benefits” is tacked onto the end. Every inch of the site screams “this website is used to have sex,” and you should really listen to that. You might get a date out of it, but don’t expect the person to introduce you to their parents.

But this isn’t to say that meaningful connections or finding a genuine adult friend (get it?) is impossible. There is always the chance of a pure friendship, particularly between two like-minded individuals.

What could AdultFriendFinder do better?

The entire website looks like an ad about hot MILFs that pops up when you’re illegally streaming a movie. Seriously, it’s bad. Even though the website is technically legit, the pictures, word choice, and exclamation points everywhere scream “scam.” No, AdultFriendFinder, “98,897,765 Hot Photos” is not the way to make potential new users trust you.

We’re not knocking a quick hookup or no-strings-attached relations. This isn’t about morals. Genitals are quite literally in your face from the moment you make an account, and that’s just not cute. There are chiller ways to go about insinuating that this is a hookup website without feeling like you’re trapped in a sex dungeon with strangers.

It’s difficult to get past the fact that the entire site looks like it’s about to invite five viruses to your computer. We’re talking terrible graphics that look like they were made on Microsoft Paint and pictures of women who look like they’re from Pornhub in 2007. Reddit user Snoo53279 summed it up in a comment from July 2020: “The people on AFF are definitely real, but there is a huge smattering of bots that also get in the way so it can be a bit of a PITA to use.” If they’re not bots, they could be men posing as a couple to seem less threatening.

The parade of women on the landing page is questionable for two reasons. This shouldn’t even need to be clarified, but not everyone is looking for a woman. At the least, the advertising just isn’t inclusive — but this crosses into fetishisation territory. The cherry on top is that the women in the photos (unsurprisingly) probably aren’t even members on the site, according to a disclaimer at the bottom of the landing page.

AdultFriendFinder’s overall outdated vibe goes past an aesthetic annoyance — it’s downright problematic at times. The “TS/TV/TGs” part of sign-up is nearly unforgivable, and we’d be scared to see some of the related rhetoric that AFF users feel comfortable spewing. Without even a dash of social awareness, it’s hard to see how anyone who’s not an out-of-touch straight cis man would feel comfortable on this site.

Attempting to navigate the shoddy design might just be enough to smother your horniness. Three main issues can make the site borderline unusable: It looks shady as hell, an alarming portion of the user base is made up of bots and spam accounts, and the user interface itself is outdated and rife with bugs.

Other Reddit users mention that the desktop web version won’t even load for them at random times — an especially frustrating roadblock for people who want to end their membership and stop monthly charges. A solution to the laggy web version might be to clear your cache or use the smartphone app instead, but your experience probably won’t get better there. AFF’s mobile page doesn’t even mention an Android app, and the link to the iPhone app brings up a “not available” pop-up in the App Store. For a site that claims to have over 50 million visitors each month, the lack of accessibility to a smartphone app is just plain odd — especially in 2021.

Adding to the sketchiness, a network hack in 2016 exposed around 412 million accounts, including “deleted” accounts that weren’t actually deleted from the database. If this is enough reason for you to fall back on Tinder for finding a friend with benefits, we don’t blame you. Signing up with a burner email and avoiding using your real name as a username are wise moves (just pick a naughty word and add 69 to the end, maybe), though keeping your personal information private is hard when credit cards are involved.

In 2007, AFF was involved in a lawsuit with the FTC over allegations that the site used malware to send explicit pop-up ads to computers owned by people who hadn’t signed up for the service. Though we haven’t seen reports like this recently, so we’re hoping those ridiculous ads you see are at least confined to people who actually use the site.

What is the best alternative to AdultFriendFinder?

Surprisingly, AdultFriendFinder is one of the more tame hookup sites out there. While other hookup sites have names like Swing Towns and Instabang.com, AdultFriendFinder is probably the safest in terms of your Google search history. Most have the same general idea, which is to find sexual partners, have cyber sex, etc, but with names like those, you do start to question the authenticity. AdultFriendFinder is one of the biggest players in the world of legitimate adult dating/hookup sites and boasts a way larger and more diverse audience than a lot of these newer sites.

Horny Matches is one newer dating site that could be starting to slide in, but it hasn’t stolen AdultFriendFinder’s thunder just yet, perhaps due to its dodgy name. It does have its advantages, though. Horny Matches’ first advantage is just that it’s more modern and looks cleaner. The title is more obvious, but the main page encourages “taking the first step” rather than mentioning the words “horny” and “sex” multiple times. The audience isn’t nearly as large as AdultFriendFinder, though, and most people will take more options and a less over an aesthetically pleasing app.

Is AdultFriendFinder right for you?

AdultFriendFinder is possibly the easiest, most low pressure way to find a friends-with-benefits situation without insulting anyone. Everyone is pretty much there for the same reason — and though it’ll feel pretty unorthodox if you’ve only ever used to Tinder to scope this type of thing out, AFF’s blunt advertising at least means you won’t have to explain that you’re not looking for a relationship. It’s niche-friendly, well-populated, and has a lot of interactive outlets to indulge your primal urges.

But that freedom comes with a price — the price being feeling like one of those people who falls for the ads that pop up before a free Pornhub video. It’s not that a site dedicated to sex and sexting is inherently scammy — it’s that AdultFriendFinder drowns you with explicit photos on profiles who might not even be real people while asking you to pay for a subscription with every click. Unfortunately, no matter how in the mood you are, some people aren’t cut out for the nothing-left-to-the-imagination approach with grammar mistakes all over the place. It wants to be sex-positive so badly, but the way sign-up talks about the trans community is the furthest thing from that.

The functionality and safety of the site and the mobile app aren’t where they need to be in 2021. If security measures were tightened, graphics and photos were cleaned up to feel more relevant, and decision-makers behind the scenes were given a lesson in inclusivity and pronouns/identities, AdultFriendFinder could be a handy tool to find attachment-free hookups and connect with a community that’s down for anything.

If you’re brave enough to jump into the action, you can register for AdultFriendFinder. Good luck out there — and don’t try this at work.


AFF advert

Credit: AdultFriendFinder


AdultFriendFinder

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Tech / Technology

Fans and celebrities react to the death of ‘Friends’ star Matthew Perry

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Matthew Perry, known for his role as Chandler on TV’s mega hit ‘Friends’, died on Saturday, prompting fans online to reflect on the actor’s comedic and personal legacy.
Matthew Perry smiling at the camera at the 2022 GQ Man of the Year red carpet.

Actor Matthew Perry, a sitcom legend, died on Saturday, Oct. 28, at the age of 54. Perry was found unresponsive in a hot tub at his home, the Los Angeles Times reports, and his cause of death is still under investigation.

Known most prominently for his 10-season long run on broadcast television behemoth Friends, Perry is often considered a ’90s icon. He had a decades-long career in television, appearing in shows like ABC’s Mr. Sunshine, and hit a movie stride in the 2000s (he previously said his best role was in the Salma Hayek-led rom-com Fools Rush In). But his most recent headline-making appearances have been more personal, including the 2022 release of his memoir, “Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing.”

Many fans directly connected Perry’s death to the loss of his most famous character, Friends‘ dry-witted Chandler Bing, and the cultural (and personal) importance the role has assumed with age — the announcement prompted some fans to place flowers outside of the West Village apartment that acted as the exterior view of the Friends apartment.

“Watching friends for the first time and falling in love with chandler bing is something i will forever hold dearly. one of the best characters on television, and one of the best actors to play it. im beyond distraught. matthew perry was too young. this is heartbreaking,” wrote X user @svlmonskinrolls.

But others, including fellow actors and performers, remembered the actor for his openness about addiction and recovery, and his later-in-life commitment to helping others in their own journey towards sobriety. Perry opened the now-closed Perry House in 2013, a sober living facility for men based in his own Malibu, California home.

In a 2022 profile with GQ, Perry said he felt compelled to write his book following a decade of attempts at sobriety. “There has to be some reason why I’m still here, having done all of this crazy stuff, and I came to the conclusion it’s to write a book that will help people who are going through the same thing that I am, or did.”

Singer Adele paid tribute to Perry while on stage in Las Vegas. “He was so open with his struggles with addiction and sobriety, which I think is incredibly, incredibly brave. I just wanna say how much I love what he did for all of us,” the star told the crowd.

“Please read his book,” wrote fellow TV actor Paget Brewster. “It was his legacy to help. He won’t rest in peace though.. He’s already too busy making everyone laugh up there.”

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau shared his condolences, noting the two’s history as former classmates. “Matthew Perry’s passing is shocking and saddening. I’ll never forget the schoolyard games we used to play, and I know people around the world are never going to forget the joy he brought them. Thanks for all the laughs, Matthew. You were loved – and you will be missed.”

“The best thing about me, bar none, is that if somebody comes to me and says, ‘I can’t stop drinking, can you help me?’ I can say ‘yes’ and follow up and do it,” said Perry in a 2022 interview with podcaster Tom Power. “When I die, I don’t want Friends to be the first thing that’s mentioned. I want that to be the first thing that’s mentioned. And I’m gonna live the rest of my life proving that.”