New, Definitely Not Bad Street Fighter Movie Gets Release Date

We are certainly living through the Era of the Remake. When future archeologists dig through our remains, they will be fascinated by the thick layer of Resident Evil remasters and Spider-Man movie franchises. But if there’s one film that shouldn’t repeatedly appear, that no one has the right to attempt to remake, it’s not Godfather nor Citizen Kane. No, it’s that masterpiece of the 20th century: Street Fighter. And yet, disgracefully, that’s what’s happening—and now we have a release date.

I would like someone to explain to me how they believe they can improve upon Steven E de Souza’s 1994 epic, with its cast of all-time Hollywood greats, featuring martial artist Jean-Claude Van Damme and pop sensation Kylie Minogue. This was a film so great its director knew it couldn’t be topped, and so never even tried to make another cinematic release for the rest of his career.

And yet, that’s what production company Legendary (in cahoots with Capcom) told us they planned to do last year. Now, according to Variety, it intends to release its new Street Fighter movie on March 20, 2026.

Now, admittedly my hilarious conceit here fails to take into account 2009’s somehow even worse attempt to adapt the fighty-fight game franchise, Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li, in what was absolutely intended to be the beginning of a whole series of movies. However, director Andrzej Bartkowiak (a name that looks like ChatGPT’s attempt to invent a ‘70s gonzo writer) also slightly fell somewhat short of mass success, albeit still managing to impress with a Metascore scientists previously thought too low to be possible: 17. Exactly half of that was achieved by the 1994 version.

I love that 20th Century Fox thought, “OK, the last time someone tried to make a Street Fighter movie, it was one of the most notoriously dreadful films ever made. We definitely want to ensure we don’t repeat this mistake. So let’s get the director of that Doom movie to make it!”

Still, even then, it wasn’t Bartkowiak’s worst film! That goes to the stunning 16 percent average for 2017’s Maximum Impact, which I now want to watch immediately. (It’s got Eric Roberts and Danny Trejo in it!)

In an ideal world, Legendary would convince Bartkowiak and de Souza to come back behind the camera for this third attempt to film Ken and Balrog’s punching antics, see if they could go even lower. However, even a year after its first announcement, no names have been attached to the upcoming Street Fighter project at all. So it’s time to get dreamcasting!

Oh please, please, please let it be awful. It deserves to be awful.

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