Kingdom Hearts Steam Reviews Wage War On Epic Games Store

Sora, Donald, Goofy, Mickey, and Minnie stand covered in Steam user review quotes.

Image: Square Enix / Kotaku

Kingdom Hearts fans waited nearly 20 years for Sora, Donald, and Goofy’s adventures through Disney worlds to come to PC, which they finally did back in 2021 via the Epic Games Store. But some fans waited even longer for most of the series to come to Steam on June 13. Whatever floats your steamboat, PC players. Use your launcher of choice to see Sora go from a starry-eyed child to a starry-eyed young adult who has seen horrors beyond his comprehension. The fun thing about this, however, is that Kingdom Hearts fans (and haters, probably) now have a new forum to express their love and other feelings for Square Enix’s Disney / Final Fantasy crossover: Steam user reviews.

Suggested Reading

Suggested Reading

Given the series’ 22-year history, Kingdom Hearts has spawned decades of memes, gags, goofs, and, of course, hellish debate. Steam’s user reviews for the three bundles Square Enix has listed on the digital storefront are full of those, as well as folks warning potential buyers about potential technical trouble they might encounter in the ports. A lot of the user reviews are also letting folks know they’re glad to finally have these games on Steam instead of the Epic Games Store, and were willing to wait literal years to play Kingdom Hearts on PC if it meant they didn’t have to use Epic’s launcher. Patience is a virtue, I suppose. Fans waited over a decade for Kingdom Hearts III, so what’s three years to get almost every game in the series on Steam?

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Ultimately, however, the best ones are the reviews that use ASCII art to recreate the iconic image of Disney’s own Michael Theodore Mouse dressed in an Organization XIII robe and asking a room of unsuspecting Final Fantasy and Disney characters if they’re talking about the Door to Darkness. Shoutout to the multiple users who did this to capture the moment in internet history with which Kingdom Hearts is most associated. Here are some of Kingdom Hearts’ best Steam user reviews.

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A Steam review reading "Donald just user cure i'm begging you."

Screenshot: Valve / Kotaku

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A Steam review reading "We've Done It, the absolute Best Franchise on earth is on Steam. Now I can fully Enjoy Donald not healing me on my Steam Deck."

Screenshot: Valve / Kotaku

A Steam review reading "GEAT UP ON THE HYDRAS BACK."

Screenshot: Valve / Kotaku

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A Steam review reading "F for all the diehard Kingdom Hearts fans who succumbed and bought the games on EGS thinking that the Steam announcement was dead."

Screenshot: Valve / Kotaku

A Steam review reading "IT'S FINALLY HERE AFTER 3 YEARS F U C K EPIC STORE."

Screenshot: Valve / Kotaku

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A Steam review reading "I've been having these weird thoughts lately, like is Kingdom Hearts on steam for real or not."

Screenshot: Valve / Kotaku

A Steam review reading "X Buying day 1 on Epic. [checkmark] Waiting 1171 days to buy it on Steam."

Screenshot: Valve / Kotaku

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A Steam review reading "10+ years of experience and I still get lost in Wonderland and Deep Jungle."

Screenshot: Valve / Kotaku

A Steam review reading "Say, fellas, did somebody mention the door to Darkness?" with ASCII art of Mickey.

Screenshot: Valve / Kotaku

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A Steam review with block art of a Heartless.

Screenshot: Valve / Kotaku

A Steam review reading "WHEN YOU WALK AWAY YOU DONT HEAR ME SAY PLEASEEEEEEEEEEE OH BABYYYYYYYYY"

Screenshot: Valve / Kotaku

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A Steam review reading "'They'll pay for this..' said Mickey Mouse"

Screenshot: Valve / Kotaku

A Steam review reading "This game is the only thing keeping me going currently"

Screenshot: Valve / Kotaku

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A Steam review reading "I know nobody is going to read this review, so every like this review gets I will eat one tablespoon of mayonnaise."

Screenshot: Valve / Kotaku

A Steam review reading "That was undeniable proof that we totally owned you lamers (EGS)"

Screenshot: Valve / Kotaku

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A Steam review reading "this gave me depression."

Screenshot: Valve / Kotaku

A Steam review reading "We waited 3 years, 2 months, and 14 days for this moment. Jokes on you Epic!"

Screenshot: Valve / Kotaku

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A Steam review reading "'Hiya pal! Make sure not to get taken by the darkness!" - Mickey Mouse probably.

Screenshot: Valve / Kotaku

A Steam review reading "the kingdom hearts 1 opening needs to be taught in every film school."

Screenshot: Valve / Kotaku

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